the wedding of the century
by KYOGAKURA
Summary: how about a wedding between one of the saiyuki boys? it has so many twists and i also inserted myself in this fic. it has a lot ofsanzo and hakkai...a little less gojyo and a lot of goku but watch out for the enemies!
1. introduction

The Wedding day of (state your name) and Hakkai  
  
Read this:  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own saiyuki...it belongs to the great Kazuya Minekura!  
The only one I worship! The maker of saiyuki!  
  
Please review my story! I'm begging you with my heart out! Review my story!  
  
New characters:  
  
Me: Tipi, also cute, the author, which is late on important Bonitz: my friend, very cute, a.k.a. Ryu, and a fan of Goku, crush of "DDD", Seitan Taisei Bonitz a.k.a. Stb Isaw: my friend doesn't like the ten boogers, cute, doesn't like foams... Fans 1,2,3,4: our fans...maybe... Robert: the bible bearer Ricardo: the coin bearer Rex: a very cute real life chibi! Ring bearer Meihou: my crush...my life...my inspiration... Phia: the pianist You: the bride of Hakkai  
  
The ten boogers:  
  
Mherie Solvienta Rose dela Croix Donut dat's not so delicious a.k.a. ddd Slave 1,2,3- likes throwing donuts at the enemies Jamu Loya Jonwas Arnelae  
  
SLIGHT CHANGES AND ADDITIONS:  
  
Homura: makes a singing competition with me...sorry for the Homura fans 'cuz I made him sing... Zeon: owner of the hotel Shien: manager of the hotel  
  
Singers: Dr. Ni Gyukoumen Dr. Huang  
  
Cross-overs: Tasuki- fushigi yuugi Chichiri: fuushigi yuugi Aeris: ff7  
  
Goku: best man Sanzo: VIP Gojyo: VIP Jien: I made into the priest...soorryy... Okay enough introductions! Let's start the story!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
SCENE: INSIDE THE CHURCH  
  
Hakkai: *looks at his watch* where is she?!  
  
Goku: *looks at the door* don't worry she'll be here!  
  
Hakkai: hope what you said is true...  
  
Me: of course everything Goku says is true! Look she's here now! *Points at the door*  
  
Hakkai: *looks at the end of the aisle* aha... *passes out*  
  
Goku: Ne, Ne Hakkai! Wake up!  
  
Me: hey! Wake up! Her comes your bride! *Shakes him up*  
  
Bonitz: oh no! Here comes the 10 boogers! *Points at the window*  
  
Me: Bonitz, Isaw let's go!  
  
Isaw: I hate foams! *Beats up enemies*  
  
Jien: =gasp= oh no my beautiful church  
  
Rose dela Croix: keep quiet you little piece of crap!  
  
Me: *fires Band-Aids to her mouth* shut your pork trap! You freakin' Rose!  
  
Bonitz: *stares at DDD*  
  
DDD: ...  
  
Bonitz: ...  
  
DDD: ...  
  
Bonitz: if you don't want to say something then just sit down and shut up!  
  
Sanzo: why you! You're making so much noise! SHUT UP! *Shoots bullets everywhere*  
  
Isaw: why you little baldie janitor! How dare you hit my perfectly cute face! Now feel my wrath!  
  
Fans 1,2,3,4: go Bonitz its ya buttday  
Go tipi its ya buttday  
Go Isaw its ya buttday  
  
Me, Isaw, Bonitz: thank you! Thank ya very much! *Winks*  
  
Ni, Gyukoumen, Huang: *sings out loud*  
  
Slaves 1,2,3: will you just shut up! Throws *donuts at them*  
  
Bonitz: why'd you do that! Don't you know that we've worked so hard to compose that!  
Now you made me uncute! You wouldn't like me when I'm uncute!  
  
Slaves 1,2,3: oh really?  
  
Bonitz: I'm warning ya! *Transform into Seitan Taisei*  
  
Fans: go Bonitz!  
  
STB: die you damned slaves!  
  
Slaves: damn you!  
  
Rose dela Croix: shut that freaking mouth of yours, you freaking humans!  
  
Isaw: I said SHUT UP! *Fires Band-Aids everywhere*  
  
Mherie Solvienta: *gets hit by a Band-aid*  
  
DDD: Bonitz marry me!  
  
STB: yuck! Who'd marry a booger like you!  
  
DDD: darn you!  
  
Me: shut up the wedding's starting!  
  
Everyone: *quiet*  
  
Me: now that's better! Bonitz turn back to your original form!  
  
Bonitz: aw...all right...  
  
Aeris: what's all the noise about?  
  
Everyone: sshhh...!  
  
Aeris: okay!  
  
Singers: *sings theme song*  
  
Goku: hey! Hakkai! If you don't wake up soon the wedding's over!  
  
Hakkai: *jerks up* oh yeah the wedding!  
  
You: Hakkai! What's wrong?  
  
Hakkai: nothing...now go back to the wedding march.  
  
You: ok!  
  
Jamu: Hakkai's getting married? To whom!  
  
You: to me! Got problem with that? *Takes out metal harisen*  
  
Tasuki: hey! That's mine!  
  
You: where did you come from? I thought I killed you already?!  
  
Tasuki: I survived...somehow...now back to business! Give that back! It's mine you thief!  
  
You: ahh! Shut up! *Kicks him to a corner in the church*  
  
Tasuki: Chichiri! Get me outta here!  
  
Me: aw...c'mon! Get the wedding started already!  
  
Tasuki: not until I get my harisen back!  
  
You: rekka-shinen!  
  
Chichiri: Tasuki let's get out of here! *Turns to Hakkai*  
Congratulations! You got a beautiful bride!  
  
Hakkai: thanks!  
  
Sanzo: oh what the hell! Hey you! *Turns to Ni*  
  
Ni: yes, Sanzo Housshi-Sama?  
  
Sanzo: start singing and get that trumpet out of here!  
  
Ni: yare, yare desu ne... *sings*  
  
Sanzo: start the wedding march already! Before I kill you all!  
  
Everyone: freezes ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ okay...that was a little weird but it made fall out of my seat!  
  
What will happen next?  
  
Please review! 


	2. the start of the wedding

Chapter 2: the wedding  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sanzo: stop staring at me and start the wedding! *Loads gun*  
  
Dr. Ni: yare, yare desu ne...Sanzo-sama looks cute as a button...  
  
Sanzo: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!  
  
Dr. Ni: I said you're as cute as a button *plays with bunny doll*  
  
Sanzo: WHY YOU LITTLE PERVERTED OLD FREAK!!! *Aims gun at his forehead*  
  
Dr. Ni: oh well...it's been nice living here-  
  
Konzeon: *appears out of nowhere* Konzen, before you start killing that perverted doctor...mind me asking questions?  
  
Sanzo: I'll let you live another day... *lowers his gun and turns to Konzeon* What do you want, you old hag?! And stop calling me Konzen!  
  
Konzeon: isn't Hakkai getting married today?  
  
Sanzo: yes...speed it up you're just wasting my precious time!  
  
Konzeon: when are you getting married?  
  
Sanzo: next question! *Some veins appear*  
  
Konzeon: aren't you getting married?  
  
Sanzo: I said next question! *Plenty of veins appear*  
  
Konzeon: whe- *BANG*  
  
Sanzo: SHUT UP! *Blows at the tip of his gun*  
  
Konzeon: how dare yo-  
  
Jiroshin: um...goddess of mercy...I think it's better to be quiet for now...  
  
Konzeon, Sanzo: JUST STAY OUT OF THIS WILL YOU!?  
  
Jiroshin: *sits at a darkened corner in a church*  
  
Sanzo: DIE!  
  
Konzeon: oh well...later! *Disappear*  
  
Hakkai: anou...Sanzo that's enough. You can kill your aunt later. *Turns to the pianist* Umm...Phia will you start playing the piano?  
  
Phia: um...s-s-sure *mesmerized*  
  
You: hey you! *Runs to Phia* he's mine I tell you so stop flirting with him! *Takes out Tasuki's harisen*  
  
Phia: isn't that harisen the one you stole from one of the star warriors of suzaku? And I wasn't staring at your soon-to-be husband you old BUG!  
  
You: who're you calling a BUG?!  
  
Phia: you! Who else looks like a bug around here!?  
  
You: why you! Get ready to lose your face!  
  
Phia: oh yeah?! Well get ready to be butt-naked after I'm true with you!  
  
(Wedding still not started, very soon after the fight)  
  
Yaone: *drinks tea* nicely prepared Hakkai-kun...  
  
Kougaiji: yes indeed...very nice...  
  
Hakkai: thank you *stands up and gets on a stage that appeared out of nowhere* EVERYBODY THE WEDDING'S STARTING SO STAY QUIET!  
  
Everybody: *shuts up*  
  
Jien: finally! *Steps up the altar*  
  
Robert: okay everyone back to your positions!  
  
Ricardo: am I dreaming? Is the wedding really gonna start?  
  
Me: better believe it!  
  
Bonitz: yo! Ricardo get to your position already!  
  
Ricardo: okay!  
  
Me: hi Rex!  
  
Rex: hi Tipi!  
  
ME: hi Rex!  
  
Rex: hi Tipi! *Goes on until fade*  
  
Veejay: the heck! Get the wedding started already! I'm not getting any younger you know!  
  
Me: what the hone?!  
  
Isaw: what's that? It's a bird!  
  
Bonitz: it's a plane!  
  
Me: no it's a foam!  
  
Bonitz: what shall we do?  
  
Isaw: what shall we say?  
  
Me: let's scream!  
  
Me, Isaw, Bonitz: SCREAM!  
  
Bonitz: that's not enough!  
  
Me: let's laugh!  
  
Me, Isaw, Bonitz: LAUGH!  
  
Fans: go gangstuh!  
  
Veejay: now I'm mad! I said GET IT STARTED!  
  
Isaw: aw...now I'm hungry! I want to eat at Zeon's hotel!  
  
Homura: *sings to the tune of reflection in Mulan* who is the girl I see? Staring bear-backed at me? When will my reflection show who I love inside?  
  
Me: Damn you! Why are you staring at Meihou?! And stop singing! You'll start up the rain!  
  
Bonitz: I thought you liked RINREI?!  
  
Homura: but Ms. Meihou is so cute!  
  
Me: I'll kill you! She's mine!  
  
Homura: let's fight in a singing competition! *Lightning*  
  
Me: okay! *Thunder*  
  
Homura: everybody in the house say oh!  
  
Everybody: oh!  
  
Me: say yeah!  
  
Everybody: yeah!  
  
Homura: say uh-huh!  
  
Everybody: uh-huh!  
  
Me: raise the roof and shake yuh booty!  
  
Everybody: raise the roof and shake yuh booty!  
  
(And the wedding started accompanied by a thunderstorm because of the singing competition) 


	3. reception

Chapter 3: reception  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
AFTER THE WEDDING, IN THE HOTEL  
  
Meihou: okay you guys that's enough! *Evil eyes*  
  
Me, Homura: yikes!  
  
Sanzo: *sigh* at last peace and quiet...  
  
Goku: *goes to karaoke machine* I wanna sing!  
  
Sanzo: oh well...it had been nice while it lasted! *Puts on earmuffs*  
  
Goku: *held by his collar* lemme go! Perverted water sprite!  
  
Gojyo: baka saru! Don't you think it's enough after the showdown of Homura and Tipi?  
  
Goku: kono ero Kappa! What's wrong with me singing? I wanna sing!  
  
Hakkai: I know! How's about we play truth or dare?  
  
Zeon: did ya say truth or dare?  
  
Hakkai: hai  
  
Zeon: well then count me in!  
  
Hakkai: how 'bout you?  
  
Shien: I think I'll join you after I finish my tea...  
  
Nataku: ne, ne truth or dare? I wanna join!  
  
Goku: ya! Nataku's here! *Jumps around*  
  
Konzeon: *surprised* I thought you locked your little soul up 500 years ago?  
  
Nataku: and miss Tenpo's wedding no way! *Turns to Goku and jumps around*  
  
Sano: kids...!  
  
You: darling I wanna play too!  
  
Hakkai: sure!  
  
Konzeon: Jiroshin! Come here and play this game too!  
  
Jiroshin: hai!  
  
Me, Bonitz, Isaw: wee! Truth or dare!  
  
Isaw: I found a bottle so let's start!  
  
Goku: I wanna spin! *Spins the bottle*  
  
Me: *bottle stops*  
  
Goku: okay then...truth or dare? *Evil face*  
  
Me: dare!  
  
Goku: then...shave your head!  
  
Me: why you little stupid monkey! I don't want to! *Sticks out tongue*  
  
Goku: then I'll do it for you! *Gets razor*  
  
Me: AAAHHHHHHH! *Runs*  
  
Goku: Come here! *Chases me*  
  
Bonitz: *gets script* here use this!  
  
Me: thanks! Huff...puff...huff...now feel my wrath! *Gets eraser*  
  
Goku: no! You wouldn't dare! No! Don't!  
  
Me: *evil face* yes! I'll erase your script and change it! *Erases Goku's script*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author's note:  
  
Sorry for the Goku fans! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Goku: *unzips pants and pees* what am I doing?! No don't! Ahhh!  
  
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now who wants to go next?  
  
Hakkai: maybe truth or dare isn't such a good idea...  
  
Gojyo: yeah...  
  
Nataku: I'll avenge Goku! *Charges at me*  
  
Me: *erases Nataku's script*  
  
Nataku: *gets stuffed toy of Ni*  
  
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mom: that's enough! Go take a bath!  
  
Me: aw c'mon! I'll just finish this!  
  
Mom: take a bath!  
  
Me: *mumble*  
  
Mom: I said move it!  
  
Me: oh well...I'll update soon okay? 


	4. the wierdest reception part 2

Chapter 4: the weird honeymoon  
  
Summary: well...it's Hakkai and (state your name)'s honeymoon! This is not that funny at the beginning...  
  
Hakkai gets very naughty! (Hentai-sh naughty but only slight) don't be mad at me!  
  
This happened during an after the reception  
  
New characters: Kyo Hagayakura- as a wish-granting old fairy  
  
Yuro Hagayakura- as the assistant of Kyo  
  
Hervik: a certain kind of genius  
  
Richard: my online friend  
  
Okay here goes: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Me: yeah! Time to finish my fic!  
  
Hakkai: oh no! Goku! Please hide somewhere...  
  
Goku: why? *Sees me* oh no! *Hides*  
  
Me: yeah! I'M BACK!!!  
  
Nataku: t-t-t-the monster!!!  
  
Me: who you calling a monster?!  
  
Nataku: n-n-no one! I mean...n-n-n-not y-y-y-y-you!!!  
  
Me: okay! I thought you called me a monster...  
  
Kyo: who is this guy?!  
  
Me: me? You don't know me?! Okay fans tell him who's he talking to!  
  
Fans: he is the greatest director...in all the land!  
  
Slaves: yeah...RIGHT!  
  
Me: ...what did you say? *Rubs knuckles*  
  
Slaves: n-n-n-n-n-nothing!!!  
  
Me: all right...I thought you said something...  
  
Slave: *good for noting old freak with nothing to do but torture good citizens with his so-called script!*  
  
Me: what did you just say?! *Folds up sleeve*  
  
Slave: we said that you're the greatest director...ever!!!  
  
Me: yeah! That's right!  
  
Slaves: yeah right!  
  
Me: I think I'll change your scripts! *Gets pen and script*  
  
Slaves: *dances the hokey pokey around the church* NOOOOO!!!  
  
Me: now this is what I call entertainment! HAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Bonitz: hey! A little help HERE! *Runs around the room*  
  
DDD: why sweetie? What's bothering you?  
  
Bonitz: you're bothering me!  
  
DDD: kissy-kissy! *Pucks up lips*  
  
Me: oh no you don't! On second thought...okay you can kiss him...  
  
Bonitz: nooo! Aw, c'mon I'll help you with your assignments!  
  
Me: oh all right! Here! THIS'LL HELP YAH! *Throws a small bottle to him*  
  
Bonitz: *opens bottle* uuurrrggg...what's this?  
  
Me: just throw it to HER FACE!  
  
Bonitz all right! Sheesh! *Sprays the poison in the bottle*  
  
DDD: *face melts* eww! So this is what my face looks like when it's melted! *Dies*  
  
Everyone: yay!  
  
Kyo: what the hell is going on around here!?  
  
Hakkai: *explains*  
  
Kyo: so that's what's happening! Man you need help!  
  
Hakkai: from whom?  
  
Kyo: me!  
  
Hakkai: okay...mister?  
  
Kyo: Kyo...Kyoichi Hagayakura!  
  
Hakkai: okay mister Kyo...I wish everyone's on there underwear!  
  
Kyo: okay! ...Umm...why?  
  
Hakkai: no reason...  
  
Phia: Hakkai-sama! I love you!  
  
You: HOW DARE YOU! HE'S ALREADY MARRIED AND YOUR STILL FLIRTING WITH HIM?! HOW DARE YOU!  
  
Phia: I'm not flirting! I'm just staring! And how should I know you didn't torture him to get his affection?  
  
Hakkai: o-O;  
  
You: I didn't torture you, right? *Pinches Hakkai's cheeks*  
  
Phia: get your hands off him you goddamn old bug!  
  
You: why you! Don't call me a bug!  
  
Phia: you're a bug and everyone knows about it too! And I'll tell something too! You're butt-ugly!  
  
You: well then *hugs Hakkai* at least this butt-ugly girl got Hakkai for her husband! *Sticks out tongue*  
  
Phia: why you! MARK MY WORD! I'LL GET HIM BACK FROM YOUR GRASP!  
  
You: you'll have to get him FROM MY COLD DEA HANDS!  
  
Hakkai: yare, yare desu ne...I really wish I just married Ms. Shunfa instead...  
  
You: what did I just hear? *A background of fire around you*  
  
Hakkai: n-n-n-n-nothing dear!  
  
You: okay! *Takes out harisen* FEEL THE HEAT FROM THIS FIRE-BREATHING- THIGY!  
  
Phia: it's not a thingy! It's a harisen!  
  
You: whatever!  
  
Rex: STOP!  
  
Everyone: *stops*  
  
Rex: okay listen! I just want to announce that I'm the cutest chibi...in all the land!  
  
Everyone: SHUT UP! *Kicks rex*  
  
Rex: now you upset me! I'll just ride on my pterodactyl and spread the cuteness that is me! *Flies to another fic*  
  
Me: that's not in the script!  
  
Rex: so what?!  
  
Me: get back here!  
  
Rex: they didn't care about my cuteness!  
  
Me: o.O;;  
  
Rose: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now's pay-back time!  
  
Isaw: what in the name of Arnold thing-a-majig is that contraption?!  
  
Everyone: *speechless*  
  
Rose dela Croix: hahahaha! Now...feel my wrath *fires a whole lot of missiles around the hotel*  
  
Ricardo: what in the hell is that?  
  
Hervik: *consults dictionary* I believe it is called a thing-a-majig  
  
Ricardo: tell me something I don't know!  
  
Hervik: well...it's just gonna destroy the whole world  
  
Shien: Homura! What are we gonna do?  
  
Homura: let's sing!  
  
Isaw: you piece of crap! How's that gonna help?  
  
Hervik: *consults manual* well I think it is sensitive to bad sounding voices  
  
Isaw: ohhh...Homura! Now's your chance to sing out loud!  
  
Homura: why? My voice sounds good? Hahaha! I knew it all along!  
  
Isaw: no, not at all! You have the most annoying singing voice I've ever heard! So just sing!  
  
Homura: so...who invented this thing-a-majig?  
  
Hervik: *consults newspaper* I believe Rose Bridgette Marie Meimei Rosalia Dela Lechona El de Baho de Amoy donat de fruta Pero di Naman delicioso dela Lapaz Batchoy de Chowking dela Croix invented this thing  
  
Everyone: o.O;;  
  
Isaw: wow! What a name!  
  
Rose: now I'll give you the privilege of seeing the techniques of my thing- a-majig! And you over there *turns to me and Bonitz * why don't we have a date after this, cuties?  
  
Bonitz: ewwww...it's more than enough that DDD has a crush on me! And now you too? Oh man!  
  
Me: sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak...  
  
Bonitz: oh no you don't! I'm not the only one she called out to!  
  
Me: WELL THEN! YOU DO WANT TO GO ON A DATE DO YOU?!  
  
Bonitz: NO I DON'T! WHY DON'T YOU GO?!  
  
Me: THE HELL! YOU LITTLE *meep* *bleep* *toot* *censored*  
  
Rose: hey you! *Turns to Isaw* don't ignore me!  
  
Isaw: the hell! Shut your mouth! Can't you see I'm talking to Homura!  
  
Bonitz, me: *sweat drops* *runs out of the church*  
  
Rose: why you! Nobody dares to say that to me!  
  
Isaw: well nobody except me!  
  
Kyo: see I told you, you need help!  
  
Isaw: where the heck did you come from?!  
  
Kyo: I came from a humble family of squires and fairy gods an-  
  
Isaw: Skip that part and tell me where did you come from!  
  
Kyo: that's what I'm trying to tell you! I came from a humble family of squires and fairy gods and was born into a small cavern deep underground and now my present life is shrouded in mystery and they ordered me to come here to help Hakkai!  
  
Isaw: o.O;;  
  
Rose: now! (sets up the switches and levers)  
  
Isaw: I thought I told you to shut up?! Do you know it's rude to interrupt? Didn't your momma ever tell you that?!  
  
Rose: nobody shuts me up! Now thing-a-majig...fire torpedoes, missiles, bombs, hats, cheese, piranhas, bras, pictures of me, flyers of Jamby Madrigal and a lot of mustard! And...oh...yeah! Some pink little cute hamsters too!  
  
Everyone: aww!!!  
  
Isaw: aw...that's cute! But you're rude! Can't you see I'm talking here! Now I'll kill you! Homura sing!  
  
Everybody: *groan*  
  
Homura: everybody in the house! Come on move your legs!  
  
Everybody: everybody in the house! Come on move your legs!  
  
\thunder\  
  
Homura: raise them up and shake yuh booty!  
  
Everybody: raise them up and shake yuh booty!  
  
\Lightning\  
  
Homura: shake 'em up and rock the whole house down!  
  
Me: how come he's singin'? *Sulks in a corner*  
  
Rose: aww...how about a date?  
  
Me: aww...you think? Here drink this!  
  
Rose: thanks! *Drinks, dies*  
  
Bonitz, me: yay!  
  
Everybody: shake 'em up and rock the whole house down!  
  
Rose: NOOOOOO!!! The infernal racket! My energy...becoming less...more weaker...noooo!!!  
  
Me: boohoohoohoohoohoo...oh well! *Frolics around*  
  
Shien: wow! Cute bras! Can I have some for me? And this hamsters too!  
  
Goku: no underwears? Aw man, how can I change my wet pants?  
  
Nataku: how bout me? I'm still playing wit this dumb piece of excuse for a toy!  
  
Ni: how dare you?! HOW DARES YAH! *Takes out a very large cannon and a trumpet*  
  
Nataku: hey! I know where your gonna use that cannon...but the trumpet?  
  
Ni: it's none of your business! Ooohhhh! Cute bra! I want one!  
  
Shien: yay! We want one!  
  
Ni: hooray for bras! And hamsters!  
  
Shien: hooray! *Frolics around*  
  
Everybody: o.O;  
  
Me: ...............piece of crap............  
  
Rose: *grasps foot of Bonitz* now...how 'bout a date with me?  
  
Bonitz: noooooooo...nuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!  
  
Rose: your not gonna escape this time! *Chases him around*  
  
Bonitz: skip to the next scene already wills ya!  
  
Me: *interrupted while frolicking* hmm...good idea!  
  
Ni, Shien: bra! And hamsters! *Cuddles bra and hamster*  
  
Zeon: boohoohooho!!! My panty collection! Covered in mustard!  
  
Me: you have panty collection?  
  
Zeon: yes!  
  
Me: ...weird...  
  
(After a lot of Jamby Madrigal posters and mustard had been cleaned and panties covered in mustard had been washed it's time for the honeymoon)  
  
Author's note: FINALLY! I THOUGHT I WASN'T GONNA GET TO THIS PART!  
  
WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! 


	5. the honeymoon part 1

CHAPTER 5: THE weird, weird, weird, dumb guy! (dun dun dun)  
  
Yay! The honey moon! Finally! This is only part one! The real part one! Which means this is part two! The previews chapter isn't part one! This is!  
  
I advice you read this...all of it! Not just the ending! It's worth it! I fell off my chair while writing this! So it's worth it!  
  
This chapter has 2,217 words to be exact! (I counted it myself)  
  
And 13 pages of paper!  
  
I fell exactly 7 times while writing this!  
  
I got 11 bruises too!  
  
I wonder what's next after the honeymoon?  
  
Any suggestions?  
  
E-mail me okay?  
  
Okay! Bye! Please enjoy!  
  
And you know...review!  
  
Words of warning:  
  
Danger up ahead! Especially to the Hakkai fans! Hakkai turned hentai! And to all the Sanzo fans too! I know you'll get mad at me! But if you're cool about it, just read! I'm sure you'll enjoy this!  
  
Sanzo fans...a thousand apologies! DON'T SEND ME HATE MAILS! This is just for fun. (Though I expect a ton of flames)  
  
Too the Hakkai fans as well...a thousand apologies!  
  
Sanzo wears a (bleep)  
  
Gojyo also wears what Sanzo wears too!  
  
Goku and Nataku hits Sanzo's face with a (bleep)  
  
The words in parentheses means either of the 2:  
  
my own opinion  
  
2. Some censored words ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TREEHOUSE  
  
Hakkai: okay Kyo! I wish for a SONY 45-inch wide screen TV and lots of sweets and chips to make sure there's no sleeping tonight! And...oh yeah...dips too!  
  
Kyo: YOU GOT IT BOSS!  
  
Hakkai: and you know...bras and panties...and MUSTARD!!!  
  
Kyo: o.O;  
  
Hakkai: why? It's not for me!  
  
Kyo: ohhhhh...hehehehe! I thought it's you who needed it...  
  
Hakkai: what?!  
  
Kyo: nothing boss! Oh! There's somebody outside!  
  
Hakkai: *runs to trapdoor* who is it?  
  
Sanzo: Hakkai! Get down here or I'll kill you!  
  
Hakkai: now what? Can't a guy have some peace and quiet for once? Sheesh!  
  
Sanzo: no hotel's open for a 1000 miles so I thought I'd follow you around.  
  
Gojyo: what is that monk doing here?  
  
Hakkai: what are you doing here?  
  
Sanzo: What are you doing here?  
  
Gojyo: no, what are you doing here?  
  
Sanzo: no, what are you doing here?  
  
Hakkai: no, what are you doing here?  
  
Gojyo: oh shut up!  
  
Sanzo: you shut up!  
  
Hakkai: no, you shut up!  
  
Sanzo: QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Shoots anyone in sight*  
  
Everyone: *tries to dodge the bullets*  
  
Konzeon: hey! Watch it! Or I'll be forced to reincarnate you into a hamster or something!  
  
Sanzo: what did you say? *Veins*  
  
Konzeon: hmmm...I said you're the cutest nephew a goddess ever HAD!  
  
Sanzo: ohhhh! You're so damn annoying!  
  
Konzeon: yeah! I know! Thanks!  
  
Sanzo: damn you!  
  
Konzeon: damn you too!  
  
Sanzo: now you've done it! *Shoots to her face then throws Jamby Madrigal posters at her*  
  
Konzeon: Jiroshin! Save me! *Uses Jiroshin's face to shield her*  
  
Jiroshin: bang bang bang bang bang bang...ouch...bang bang bang bang bang bang  
  
Sanzo: eww! Yuck! Jiroshin blood! *Screams like a girl* (sowwy!)  
  
Jiroshin: Konzeon Bosatsu! Let's go back! *Stands up* uuurrrggg! Back hurts...spleen fractured...kidney disorder...butt splits...dies...not yet...fingers broken...then dies...  
  
Sanzo: hehehe!  
  
Konzeon: JJJJIIIIRRROOOSSSHHHIIINNN!!! Oh, well! I can get a new assistant anyways!  
  
Jiroshin: Goddess of mercy! Have mercy on me! Here! *Gives Jamby Madrigal poster*  
  
Konzeon: ewwww! This isn't even the latest poster! And...gasp! I broke a nail! *Veins popping out of nowhere*  
  
Gyukomen: yeah! I know the feeling sister! I didn't eat for a whole hour when I broke my nail! *Sob* I miss you Sandy! Come back!!!  
  
Konzeon: o.O; you cried over the death of your nail?  
  
Gyukomen: yes! I admit it! So sue me!  
  
Konzeon: *laughs out loud then falls to a pit that appeared out of nowhere*  
  
Gyukomen: oh, get a life! I just got something in my eye when my nail died! And...ugh! It's Ni who broke it!  
  
Ni: yare, yare! I used it to make the machine you ordered!  
  
Gyukomen: oh yeah! I forgot...I was gonna make you pay for that! *Gets Ni's stuffedtoy*  
  
Ni: w-w-w-w-wha-what are you gonna do with Miffy?  
  
Gyukomen: nothing! I'll just give ol' Miffy here a tune up! Hihihihi!  
  
Ni: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *Breaths* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Gyukomen: HAHAHA! HEHEHE! HIHIHI! HOHOHO! HUHUHU! WAKEKEKE! AHIHIHI! TEEHEEHEE! NYUKNYUKNYUK! HAHEHIHOHU! MWAHAHAHA!  
  
Ni: o.O; noooo! Miffy! Come back!...oh well...I can get a new doll anyway! *Turns to Shien* now I'm totally focused on collecting bras with you!  
  
Shien: yay! Okay then! Look for a bra that is diamond encrusted and has a platinum trimming!  
  
Ni: oka- *sees an ant* ohhhh! Cute ant! I think I'll call you Carl!  
  
Carl: *gets stepped on*  
  
Ni: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! CAAAARRRRLLLLL!!! COME BACK!!!  
  
Shien: sigh! Okay I'll find that panty myself!  
  
Ni: boohoohoohoohoo! Why must the good die young!?  
  
Zeon: eeeeekkkkk! Ant corpse! Yuck!  
  
Ni: *burying Carl in a matchbox* CCCAAARRRLLL! Oh well...Shien! I'll help you find that bra!  
  
Shien: sigh!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author's note:  
  
News just in!  
  
The number three is an endangered number! It will be replaced by chippermonkey! So it goes this way:  
  
1, 2, chippermonkey, 4, 5...and so on and so fort.  
  
And the number thirty is also to be replaced with chippermonkey.  
  
And also the number 33 will be referred to as chippermonkey-chippermonkey.  
  
And lastly  
  
USE THE NUMBER THREE WHEN YOU REALLY NEED IT! Or if you don't really need it just use chippermonkey.  
  
Thank you for your support. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Me: after that very rude announcement...let's get on with the fic, shall we?  
  
Bonitz: so...it goes chippermonkey-chippermonkey and four for 334...right?  
  
Me: right! And I just said don't use the number (bleep)!  
  
Bonitz: man! That's dumb!  
  
Me: tell that to the author! Wait...that's me!  
  
Bonitz: I blame you!  
  
Me: I blame me too, also!  
  
Everybody: we blame you!  
  
Me: okay! Fine! Whatever! Okay! Let's get on with the fic!  
  
Bonitz: what part are we anyways?  
  
Me: it's the part where Sanzo sings! So be quiet!  
  
Sanzo: *sings* we will, we will rock you!  
  
Everyone: we will, we will rock you!  
  
Sanzo: you got mud on your face! You big disgrace!  
  
Everyone: you got mud on your face! You big disgrace!  
  
Goku: *hits Sanzo with a shovel*  
  
Sanzo: why'd you do that? *Veins*  
  
Goku: I got...paid!  
  
Sanzo: *more veins* die!  
  
Goku: Nataku did it!  
  
Sanzo: *plenty of veins* die!  
  
Nataku, Goku: nooooo!  
  
Sanzo: ugh...  
  
Konzeon: *comes back from the pit* ANYWAYS! You darn little corrupt monk with droopy eyes and very thin that he looks like skin and bones but *extremely hot* little piece of Loren supporter!  
  
Sanzo: shut your trap you old hag! By the way *turns back to Hakkai* can we crash here tonight? Say yes or you'll die!  
  
Hakkai: okay...you can sleep up here...*half terrified to death*  
  
You: how dare you terrify Hakkai-sama! NOW YOU'LL DIE!  
  
Sanzo: bring it on!  
  
Phia: yay! Kill her Sanzo!  
  
Sanzo: yeah! Sure babycakes!  
  
Sanzo fans: babycakes? WHY YOU! Steal Hakkai if you want but not Sanzo!  
  
Phia: *gets jumped on by the fans* ouch...my back hurts...drool everywhere...uuurrrggg...dies...  
  
Sanzo: *gets chased by fans*  
  
Fans: SANZO WE LOVE YOU!  
  
Sanzo: *gets trampled*  
  
Fans: Sanzo-sama!  
  
Sanzo: *screams like a girl-again*  
  
Fans: o.O;  
  
You: damn you Phia! And thanks you fans! You saved Hakkai!  
  
Phia: *survived miraculously* Hakkai-sama...eat more of my cake! I'm sure that a certain someone doesn't even know how to cook! You'll get famished!  
  
Hakkai: mmmf! Mmmf! Mmmf!  
  
You: Hakkai! How dare you flirt with that...that...that Oglop!  
  
Hakkai: Oglop?  
  
You: those little bug-like animals!  
  
Hakkai: o.O;  
  
You: I'll abandon you now! I hate you! Boohoohoohoo!  
  
Hakkai: aww, c'mon! I'm not eating or flirting with Phia! You know you're my wife! Remember?  
  
You: oh yeah! We got married this morning haven't we?  
  
Hakkai bad side: on  
  
Hakkai: o.O; hehehe...no we aren't married yet! You're just my fiancé!  
  
You: ohhhh...hey! That's not right! I'm your wife!  
  
Hakkai: oh well...it was good while it lasted...Yes you're my wife...and I accept my fate!  
  
You: yay! I'm your wife! *Frolics in a field of flowers that appeared out of nowhere*  
  
Hakkai bad side: off  
  
Hakkai parent mode: on  
  
Hakkai: o.O; okay guys! You can share my bed tonight! I think my wife needs some time-out!  
  
You: aww...do I have too?  
  
Hakkai: yes! You're not gonna have supper this time! Now go to your room!  
  
You: aw! Ch! REMEMBER THIS! I WILL SURVIVE!  
  
Hakkai: yes...now go to your room far, far, far, far, far, far, far *breaths* far, far, far, far, far and far away!  
  
You: aww...is it really that far?  
  
Hakkai: yes!  
  
You: aww...bummer!  
  
Hakkai: go!  
  
You: okay, okay going!  
  
Hakkai parent mode: off  
  
Sanzo: good thing I brought my own footsie pj's!  
  
Gojyo: yuck! Footsie pajamas! Ewwww! But nice design though! Where did you get that!  
  
Sano: *sings* somewhere down the road...oh man! Now I'm like Homura! Note to self: hit myself with a shovel next time I do that...  
  
Gojyo: *turns very sophisticated* Ohhhh! I just love that darling Barney the dinosaur design and the pink metallic trimming is simply to die for!  
  
Sanzo: oh! You think? I think so too! Teeheeheehee! Ahem! I mean my good- for-nothing aunt picked this thing out for me!  
  
Gojyo: o.O;  
  
Goku: what about me?  
  
Nataku: and me?  
  
Sanzo: hit me in the face with a shovel when I sing...  
  
Nataku, Goku: ch! I was hoping for a better job! And this shovel isn't even clean!  
  
Nataku: *whispers to Goku* how about hitting everyone here in the face and say it was an accident?  
  
Goku: suuuurrrreeee!  
  
Nataku: *points at Sanzo's forehead* hey! What's that ugly thing?  
  
Sanzo: what ugly thing?  
  
Nataku: that...that...pimple! Ewwww I touched it!  
  
Sanzo: EEEEEEKKKKK! WHAT!? A pimple? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Must pop it...loosing control...must get ugly thing...destroyed...  
  
Me: o.O; that's not in the script...HEY! THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT!  
  
Bonitz: so wha? It's fun!  
  
Me: o.O;  
  
Goku: after you're done there...Gojyo has something to show you...  
  
Sanzo: okay! I'm done!...I mean...shut up! You're makin' my ears hurt!  
  
Gojyo: I brought my pajamas too! My ultra deluxe Barbie designed footsie pajamas!  
  
Sanzo, Gojyo: hooray for pajamas!  
  
Everybody: hooray!  
  
Sanzo: Ahem!  
  
Konzeon: umm...Sanzo...are you supposed to like footsie pajamas?  
  
Sanzo: N-N-N-NO! Of course not!  
  
Gyukomen: and me? By the way I need someone to make my pedicure!  
  
You: I'll do it for you!  
  
Hakkai: I thought I told you to go to our room?  
  
You: eep!  
  
Hakkai loving husband mode: on  
  
Hakkai: aw...it's alright! C'mon share my bed...  
  
You: yay! Victory dance!  
  
Hakkai: sigh! Oh well she's cute...isn't she?  
  
Me: yeah...she's the cutest thing I've ever seen...  
  
Hakkai: thanks...I needed that!  
  
Yaone: Hakkai-kun! How about a cup of tea?  
  
Hakkai: sounds delightful!  
  
Kou: yeah! Really nice!  
  
Hakkai loving husband mode: has gone haywire  
  
(so Hakkai, Kou and Yaone shared a cup of tea throughout the mayhem)  
  
Ni: I need bras! Ones with the little butterflies and ribbons in them!  
  
Gyukomen: Ni! Do my pedicure for me! Or you'll die!  
  
Ni: any other choices ma'am?  
  
Gyukomen: you do my nails and live or don't do my nails and die?  
  
Ni: yare, yare desu ne! Go bras! I need some of those! Please give me some!  
  
Shien: me too! And give me pink panties to go with them!  
  
Ni: what's your favorite color?  
  
Shien: fuchsia!  
  
Ni: spell fuchsia?  
  
Shien: f-u...umm...umm...I think I like red better!  
  
Ni: yay! Underwears!  
  
Shien: yay! *Eats cheese with mustard*  
  
Goku: yay! *Eats cheese with mustard*  
  
Ni: yay! *Eats cheese with mustard*  
  
Rose: yay! *Eats cheese with bomb* *explodes*  
  
Everyone: cheer! Laugh! Scream! Run for cover!  
  
Me: by the way, where's Zeon?  
  
Shien: he's back in the hotel and cryin' his little heart out...  
  
Bonitz: why?  
  
Shien: his panty collection got covered with mustard so he cried...  
  
Everybody: O.o;;  
  
Me: what a baby...  
  
Zeon: I heard that! What's wrong with crying over panties? How 'bout you? What if the Gensomaden series was cancelled and your episode collection got burned?  
  
Me: I-I-I-I-I can't imagine life without it! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Why does life have to be so cruel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jemimah: me too! I didn't even know that Hakkai was getting married!  
  
Richard: why am I in this fic? I don't even know you!  
  
Jemimah: what's your name?  
  
Richard: Richard!  
  
Jemimah: yuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkk! Richard!  
  
Richard: hey! What's wrong with the name anyways? My mom says it's cool!  
  
Jemimah: she says it's cool because...you're her son! Duh!  
  
Richard: n-n-n-n-no that can't be! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Zeon: Hahaha! I'll buy new panties anyways!  
  
????: HEY YOU! I've been looking for you!  
  
Hakkai: who? Me?  
  
????: not you! You!  
  
Zeon: who?  
  
????: Can anyone get any dumber? You!  
  
Rose: me?  
  
????: Yes!  
  
Rose: yeah! Yeah! What you want? I'm busy flirting here! AND WHO ARE YOU ANYWAYS!?  
  
????: I'm Yuro! The assistant of Kyo! The one who sold you your thing-a- majig!  
  
\ Thunder, dark clouds, lightning, bras \  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Okay! That was jus part one!  
  
Who is Yuro?  
  
What does Yuro want?  
  
Who is Richard?  
  
When will I ever get this fic finished?  
  
Will I ever finish this?  
  
Does anyone there know me?  
  
WILL THE Sanzo FANS EVER FORGIVE ME?  
  
When will I ever get my own footsie pajamas?  
  
What number will I use after number two?  
  
What in the world is a Richard anyways?  
  
I'm very annoyed at the announcement the author made!  
  
I'm hungry!  
  
I want to watch medabots!  
  
My back itches!  
  
Nuuuuuuuuuuuu!  
  
Somebody scratch my back!  
  
Please?  
  
Aw, c'mon! Scratch it!  
  
Ahh! Relief! Somebody scratched my back! Yay!  
  
I'm confused!  
  
WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! REVIEW! 


	6. part 2

CHAPTER 6: The wretched cotton candy-headed guy  
  
Okay the honeymoon's second/ third part or whatever! Enjoy! And review!  
  
Hmmm...let's see... what's the summary? Umm...I don't know...do you know? Oh well...  
  
Disclaimer: you people know what I'm gonna say anyways...  
  
Yo! Hey! Dream! Thanks for the tips!  
  
OKAY...I expect flames...and even a ton of them!  
  
Hmmm...okay there are a few comebacks here like:  
  
Mherie Solvienta  
  
3 people from the ten Boogers  
  
And I would like to apologize again to all the Sanzo fans...  
  
To the Gojyo fans too...  
  
I ADVICE YOU TO READ UNTIL THE FINAL REMARKS  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Me: okay! Now back to Yuro and Rose!  
  
Bonitz: when we last left our fic Rose met Yuro and Yuro wants money.  
  
Isaw: and my Back itches too!  
  
L&I: I'll scratch it!  
  
Isaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :breaths: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!  
  
L&I: yyyyyyeeeeeeeeessssssssss!  
  
Isaw: I said NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :breaths: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!  
  
L&I: yes!  
  
Isaw: nu! :Runs:  
  
L&I: yes :chases:  
  
Me, Bonitz: Yes!  
  
Everyone: Yes!  
  
Isaw: Damn you! You two Boracay (beep)! You two (beep) of paper! How dare you!  
  
Me: you piece of :mmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppp:  
  
Bonitz: you little $&%$:! %:! $:&$! &$$&:! $&%$%:&:!  
  
Isaw: DAMMIT! Hey...what's this album doing' here?  
  
Bonitz: :jaw drops:  
  
Me: :glances at Bonitz: umm...I can explain...  
  
Bonitz: :holds up album then glares: you BETTER explain why our class picture's here!  
  
DDD: :snatches album: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MAN! You look like a ball with a wig! :Looks at album again: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :Dies laughing:  
  
Everybody: let's see!  
  
DDD: :shows:  
  
Isaw: mmmf! Mmmf! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Me: hehehe...  
  
Bonitz: the embarrassment!  
  
Everybody: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Bonitz: :I thought I burned that wretched thing! :  
  
Me: What did you say?!  
  
Bonitz: mumble...mumble...mumble...dumb guy...mumble...mumble...  
  
Me:...  
  
Bonitz:...  
  
Me:...  
  
Bonitz:...  
  
Me:...  
  
Bonitz:...  
  
Me:...  
  
Bonitz:...  
  
Me:...  
  
Bonitz:...  
  
Me:...  
  
Bonitz:...  
  
Isaw: will you two just talk!  
  
Me: no!  
  
Bonitz: NO!  
  
Yuro: pay up pal!  
  
Me, Bonitz: you shut up!  
  
Yuro: eep!  
  
Bank manager: yeah...umm...you have $1000000 in your debt and we'll have to take away your clothes to make up for it...  
  
Me: where the heck did you come from?!  
  
Bank manager: I...don't...know...what is this anyway?  
  
Bonitz: this is the world where fiction comes to life...a world where reality and fiction are one...  
  
Me: hmmm...that's really not like you...daisy siette! (The following titles are soap operas)  
  
Bonitz: shut UP! Te Amo!  
  
Me: Por Ti!  
  
Bonitz: Rosalinda!  
  
Isaw: Isaw!  
  
Me, Bonitz: where did you go all this time?  
  
Isaw: getting chased by L&I! I'll join you! Marimar!  
  
Me:...Paloma!  
  
Bonitz: Meteor Garden!  
  
Me: The Truth!  
  
Isaw: West Side Story!  
  
Rex: this looks fun! Hehehe! Esperanza!  
  
Isaw: Maria Mercedes!  
  
Mherie Solvienta: Star Circle Quest!  
  
Me, Isaw, Bonitz: ewwww! We didn't invite you to come!  
  
Mherie Solvienta: aw c'mon! lemme come!  
  
Me: NO!  
  
Isaw: NOO!  
  
Bonitz: NOOO!  
  
Mherie Solvienta: WAAAAHHHH! YOU DARE MOCK ME!? BEWARE!  
  
Me: why's that?  
  
Mherie Solvienta: panties are among us...BEWARE! :Vanishes:  
  
Hakkai: hmmm...this is rather weird...  
  
Bonitz: why? What's weird?  
  
Isaw: that panties are among us?  
  
Hakkai: no...I mean how did all you guys mange to come in here? I mean the tree house is really small y'know?  
  
Me: that's the magic of the imaginary world...  
  
Isaw: hmmm...you're right...I blame you!  
  
Bonitz: I blame you!  
  
Me: I blame me!  
  
Sanzo: Shut up! Can't you see someone's trying to sleep?!  
  
Goku: Are you sleeping? I thought you weren't 'cuz I saw your eye twitching when Hakkai kissed his wife goo-  
  
Sanzo: sshhh! :Holds Goku's mouth: be quiet!  
  
Goku: why?  
  
Sanzo: BECAUSE!  
  
Goku: because what?  
  
Sanzo: JUST SHUT UP OR DIE!  
  
Nataku: aw c'mon! Everybody knows that y-  
  
Sanzo: you shut up too!  
  
Isaw: stop it Sanzo! I'll explain...to the readers why your eye keeps twitching!  
  
Sanzo: yes...finally!  
  
Isaw: OKAY READERS! SANZO'S EYE KEEPS ON TWITCHING BECAUSE (MEEP)  
  
Nataku, Goku: :quiet: what?!  
  
Isaw: well...it's the truth!  
  
Sanzo: that's not what I have in mind...WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THEM?!  
  
Isaw: I just told the truth!  
  
Goku: so what you told the readers are all true?  
  
Isaw: yes!  
  
Goku: :gets away from Sanzo: ewwww! Is that true?!  
  
Sanzo: no! NO!  
  
Isaw: OKAY! I'll explain again...before I get shot in the head...  
  
Sanzo: good!  
  
Isaw: HERE'S THE TRUTH EVERYONE! SANZO'S EYE TWITCHED BECAUSE (MEEP)  
  
Sanzo: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's not true! I am not (meep)  
  
Konzeon: Konzen! Stop torturing those heretics! Everybody knows you like HIM! And ewwww! You're (meep)!  
  
Everybody: WHO?  
  
Konzeon: Sanzo! Sanzo's a (meep)!  
  
Everybody: ewwww! You're a (meep)!  
  
Isaw: yuck! Stay away from me you (meep)!  
  
Me: who's a (meep)?  
  
Konzeon: you know! Him! Sanzo!  
  
Sanzo: :eyes twitching faster than ever:  
  
Me: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! (Meep)!  
  
Konzeon: let go of the two or I'll tell the whole world what the (meep) means!  
  
Sanzo: who're are you to make me?!  
  
Konzeon: Jiroshin!  
  
Jiroshin: yes, Konzeon Bosatsu?  
  
Konzeon: (whispers) you know what to do!  
  
Jiroshin: no...I don't know! And...gasp! Sanzo, you're a (meep)!  
  
Sanzo: I told you before! I'M NOT A (MEEP)!  
  
Jiroshin: are you sure you're not a (meep)? And Konzeon Bosatsu...I don't know what to do!  
  
Konzeon: useless!  
  
Sanzo: die for once will you :shoots a lot of Legolas posters:  
  
Konzeon: eeekk! LEGOLAS! Mine!  
  
Legolas fans: ours!  
  
Gyukomen: nooooooooooooooo! It's mine I tell you! it's only mine!  
  
Konzeon: mine!  
  
Jiroshin: MMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Konzeon: O.O; why you little piece of gay!  
  
Jiroshin: what gay?!  
  
Konzeon: you are the gay! Why dintcha tells me?!  
  
Jiroshin: I AM NOT GAY! I just have a soft spot for Legolas...  
  
Konzeon: Legolas is MINE!  
  
Jiroshin: HE'S MINE!  
  
Konzeon: :pulls Jiroshin's hair: MINE!  
  
Jiroshin: :pulls Konzeon's hair: MMMMMIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!  
  
Legolas fans: OURS!  
  
Sanzo: EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK! What did I DO? Why did I use Orlando-sama's posters? Nooooooooooo! What shall I do?  
  
Ni: if Carl were here he would have know the answer to that! :Holds up framed picture of Carl: and...stay away from me you (meep)!  
  
Sanzo: I said I'm no damn good-for-nothing old (meep)!  
  
Me: now I'm impressed! Even though I stepped on Carl you managed to get a picture of him! Ands that's less than 10 seconds! Sanzo's a (Meep)!  
  
Sanzo: AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH I'M NOT A MMMMMEEEEEEEPPPPPP!  
  
Ni: YOU stepped on Carl? YOU'LL PAY! (Meep)!  
  
Sanzo: :eye twitches again:  
  
ME: N-N-N-N-NO! I-I-I-I-I DIDN'T! And yes I agree that Sanzo's a (meep)!  
  
Ni: I'll k- ohh! Butterfly! I think I'll call you Cindy!  
  
Cindy: :flies out of the window:  
  
Ni: Cindy! COMEBACK! :Chases then falls off the window:  
  
Me: :runs:  
  
Sanzo: :sits at a darkened corner and mumbles to self: I'm not a (meep)...I'm not a (meep)...  
  
Yuro: pay me!  
  
Meihou: wow! You're so cute! You're mine!  
  
Yuro: :blushes:  
  
Meihou: care to have a date?  
  
Yuro: umm...  
  
Big Baby: :points at Meihou: FUNNY CLOWN!  
  
Meihou: :eye twitches like Sanzo:  
  
Me: by the way...Gojyo! Are you going to the mother and son picnic this year?  
  
Gojyo: ...  
  
Me: really? YOU'RE GOING?!  
  
Gojyo: ...  
  
Me: who're you taking with you?  
  
Gojyo: ...  
  
Me: o.O; aw c'mon! answer me! And...your hair looks like cotton candy! An yummy looking too!  
  
Gojyo: my hair doesn't look like cotton candy, you stupid so-called author!  
  
Slaves: yeah! You tell him! Tell him about all the errors of his fic!  
  
Me: SHUT UP SLAVES! Well anyone can make a mistake! You cotton candy-headed kappa!  
  
Gojyo: well who are you to give me a damn?! You stupid bit of trash that happened to direct this fic!  
  
Slaves: HAHAHAHA! Hey lookie here! A spelling error!  
  
Me: if you're gonna criticize then why don'tcha review?!  
  
Gojyo: AH SHADDUP!  
  
Me: now you made me angry! Almighty script!  
  
Gojyo: what almighty script?!  
  
Me: :scribbles:  
  
Gojyo: noooooooooooo! Suddenly I have the urge to sing toxic and dress like Britney!  
  
Me: now do it!  
  
Gojyo: youch! Something bit me!  
  
Bonitz: mmmmmmmmm...yummy cotton candy!  
  
Goku: hey! That rhymes!  
  
Gojyo: my hair doesn't look like cotton candy!  
  
Me: I SAID DO TOXIC ALREADY! Cotton candy-headed kappa!  
  
Gojyo: I'm not a cotton candy-headed kappa! :Sings: tonight can't calm down, it's in my head spinning round AND ROUND!  
  
Yuro: lemme go! And Meihou you aren't my girlfriend!  
  
Yuro: SHADDUP! Back to business! Pay up!  
  
Rose: I'm not indebted in you! Beh!  
  
Manager: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!  
  
Bonitz: yummy! Cotton candy fresh from the head!  
  
Gojyo: EEEEEKKKKKKKKK! Now I'm bald! (Sob) (sob) (sob) (sob)  
  
Employee: umm s'cuse me...  
  
Me: what the hell? I'm trying sooooooo hard to finish this weird honeymoon! And have a taste of Gojyo's hair...What do you want?  
  
Gojyo: my hair isn't cotton candy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bonitz: yes it is! Cotton candy!  
  
Manager: we're putting up a restaurant here so you better move out!  
  
Employee: yeah!  
  
Bonitz: :veins: you stay out of this! You wittle employee!  
  
Employee: why SHOULD I?!  
  
Bonitz: BECAUSE I SAYS SO!  
  
Employee: hell you!  
  
Bonitz: ATOMIC WEDGIE!  
  
Employee: WAAAAAH!  
  
Nurse: aw...did the nasty boy make wittle itsy bitsy goo goo baby cwy?  
  
Employee: uh huh...  
  
Nurse: aw...c'mere! I'll make it all better...  
  
Employee: yay!  
  
Bonitz: that rotten employee fooled the :hot: nurse! DARN!  
  
Hakkai: what's goin' on?  
  
Employee: welcome to the wedding of the century! Home of the wedding of the century may I take- aaahhh! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You're Hakkai!  
  
Hakkai: why yes I am!  
  
Employee: you're lyin'! You're not Hakkai!  
  
Hakkai: then I'm not.  
  
Employee: hey! You're Hakkai!  
  
Hakkai: yes I am!  
  
Employee: liar!  
  
Hakkai: aaarrrggghhh! I'm Hakkai!  
  
Employee: hey boss! He says he's Hakkai what do you think?  
  
Manager: hmmm...who's he kidding? Hakkai much cuter!  
  
You: what? I did not marry Hakkai?  
  
Hakkai: I AM Hakkai!  
  
Me: no you're not!  
  
Hakkai: :getting pissed off: THEN I'M NOT!  
  
Jemimah: yes he is!  
  
Me: no he's not!  
  
You: no he's not!  
  
Hakkai: sigh! Even my wife thinks I'm not me...  
  
You: he's name isn't Hakkai! He said that I should call him Sweetie Poodles!  
  
Sanzo: :eye twitches: darn...  
  
Goku: see? There it goes again! You'd better see an eye doctor Sanzo...  
  
Sanzo:...  
  
Bonitz: :stifled laugh: mmmf! Mmmf! SWEETIE?!  
  
Hakkai: I thought I told you not to tell anybody?!  
  
You: did you say that?  
  
Hakkai: yes I did...  
  
You: SWEETIE?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Hakkai: okay, okay! Let's get the honeymoon going!  
  
Me: yay!  
  
Hakkai: off-fic!  
  
Me: bummer!  
  
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: sorry...Hakkai doesn't want me to continue...maybe next time...  
  
I know this chap isn't funny so I'm sorry  
  
10 more flames are all I need to quit this fic forever...  
  
Okay!  
  
Umm...wait! I won't tell you what the (meep) means until next chapter!  
  
HEY- ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Bonitz: HOLD IT!  
  
Me: what?!  
  
Bonitz: let's just continue this secretly!  
  
Me: I get your point...mwahahahahaha!  
  
Bonitz: plus I like Gojyo's hair!  
  
Me: me too!  
  
Hakkai: what do we have here? :Evil glint in the eye:  
  
Me: eep! HE forced me to continue! I swear! He ONLY FORCED ME!  
  
Bonitz: nooooooooooooo! HE FORCED ME! AND YOU'RE NOT Hakkai!  
  
Hakkai: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ENOUGH!  
  
ME: me thinks it's not good that you said that...  
  
Jamu: I love you! Hakkai-sama! I love you!  
  
Hakkai: noooooooooo! Another one of those nightmare guys! (Your name) SAVE ME!  
  
You: I'll save you! Rekashinen!  
  
Jamu: oh no you don't! :Brings out huge asbestos:  
  
You: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! SUMMON ALMIGHTY CRAP!  
  
Jamu: almighty crap?  
  
You: FEEL MY CRAP!  
  
Jamu: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CRAPS...surrounding me...losing power...can't hold asbestos...burn...  
  
You: REKASHINEN!  
  
Me: I think I should follow Hakkai's instruction to keep this part censored...  
  
Hakkai: YES! PLEASE! BLOCK THIS PART OUT!  
  
I AM SORRY TO INTERUPT YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE BUT I HAVE A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN!  
  
CHIPPER-MONKEY'S USE IS ALSO PROHIBITED.  
  
YOU WILL NOW USE SCHMALARK TO REPLACE IT.  
  
AND REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR MAGNOLIA THE CHIPMUNK THIS COMING ELECTION.  
  
THANK YOU!  
  
Me: back to the uncensored part of the fic :looks around:  
  
Bonitz: there's nothing more to write about dimwit! They're all asleep!  
  
Me: aw c'mon wake up!  
  
Gojyo: AH SHADDUP! :Throws an old boot at me:  
  
Me: ouch...now I'm mad! I'm never gonna continue this fic again!  
  
Bonitz: yeah!  
  
Me: on second thought...if I receive at least 2 reviews from this chap I'll continue!  
  
Bonitz: yeah!  
  
Me: let's do something fun...  
  
Goku: :wakes up: something fun...BREAKFAST!  
  
Bonitz: I know! A Ferris wheel!  
  
Me: ice cream!  
  
Goku: jumping rope!  
  
Bonitz: Internet!  
  
Me: two ice creams!  
  
Bonitz: eating!  
  
Goku: eating!  
  
Me: :holding two melted ice creams: still two ice creams!  
  
Goku: meat buns!  
  
Me: washing an old man!  
  
Goku: is that fun? Or edible?  
  
Bonitz: -.-; IF YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE THAT...GO BE STUPID SOMEWHERE ELSE!  
  
Me: umm...b-b-b-Bonitz...me thinks we should run away now...!  
  
Bonitz: NO! not until I can think of something more fun than washing an old man!  
  
Hakkai: :darkened face: how's about quitting this fic?  
  
Me: eep!  
  
Hakkai: I said quit it!  
  
Bonitz: eep!  
  
Sanzo: I'm not a (meep)...I'm not a (meep)...  
  
Gojyo: my hair doesn't look like cotton candy...not cotton candy...NOT COTTON CANDY!  
  
Goku: when's breakfast?  
  
Me: umm...bye! Before everyone here goes mad! Bonitz let's go!  
  
Bonitz: and review! RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!  
  
Hakkai: CCCCCCOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE BBBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKK!!!  
  
Sanzo: I'm not a (meep)...want to know what (meep) means?  
  
Readers: yes!  
  
Sanzo: (meep) means :HONK:  
  
Oku: sorry! I was just curious what a trumpet would sound like...  
  
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: okay! The whole chapter mischief was a little unexpected...  
  
sorry for insulting and/or getting your favorite characters at the brink of insanity...  
  
final remarks:  
  
thanks to all the readers! And those who sent me flames!  
  
And to Dream and Bonitz too, also... 


	7. sorrowfully sorrowing

**Chapter 7: Sooorrrrroooowwww?!?!**

Sorry folks! Didn't have time to update 'recently' because of all the schoolwork I had to do (I haven't updated for about 5 months already). Terribly sorry for that! And...oh yeah...if this chapter isn't as funny as always...it's because I kinda lost my touch due to lack of practice. But hey! Be happy! I'll be writing another chapter on December...after our toot mid-year test! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

**This happened somewhere...**

**Bonitz will be gone...I think...**

**Yuro jumped of a cliff and,**

**I got bruised**

**Flames...flames...and more flames...I'm no good anymore...**

**There are a few cross-overs**

**I can't think of anything else...**

**One last thing...I just turned another year older!**

**Let's go!**

**-------------------#$#$#$------------------**

**SOMEWHERE INSIDE A HOTEL ROOM**

**Bonitz: how come you said that I'll be gone?!**

**Me: ummmmm...uhhhhhhhh...ohhhhh...**

**Bonitz: ANSWER MEEEEEEEEE! :breathes out flame:**

**Me: ouchy-wow-wow...:jumps around:**

**Bonitz: man, you ARE losing your touch! Imagine! Ouchy-wow-wow!? That's really LAME! **

**LAME-LAME-LAME-LAME-LAME-LAME :echoes:**

**Me: what did YOU just say?! :eye vein twitches:**

**Bonitz: I said- YOU'RE REALLY GOOD!.........and.........you'relosingit.........**

**Me: you little piece of (bleep)...OF COURSE I'M LOSING IT! :death glare:**

**Isaw: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!**

**Me, Bonitz: what in the freakin' (bleep)?! **

**Isaw: JAEZEL'S BACK! AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!**

**Me: :moves out of the picture:**

**Bonitz: HEEEEEYYYYY! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! SHE HAS A FREAKIN' CRUSH ON YOU TOOOOOOOO...ALSO!**

**Me: eep! :Bonitz gets hold of collar:**

**Bonitz: I said DON'T leave ME! :becomes like hulk but purple:**

**Me: look! It's Inu-yasha!**

**Bonitz: where? Where?**

**Me: PSYCHE!**

**Bonitz: WHY YOU LITTLE...hey...what's this graduation pic doing on the ground...**

**Me: hey! That's mine! :tries to snatch pic away:**

**Bonitz: ooooohhhh...you look like a...a...GIRL!**

**Me: damn...I thought I already shredded that thing...**

**Bonitz: pay BACK TIME!**

**Me: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :breathes: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!**

**Bonitz: :frolics around and distributing pics:**

**Me: can anyone OUT THERE help me out...pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Bonitz: help or die?!**

**Me: choose help! choose help!**

**Bonitz: doooooooooooonnnnn't :distributes last photo:**

**Me: nnnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! :everything slows down and turns matrix style:**

**Bonitz: wa...ha...ha...ha...ha...**

**Back to normal speed**

**Me: how DARE you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Isaw: uhhhh...a little help here? :gets held up by Jaezel:**

**Bonitz, Me: SHUT UP! YOU !#!$&$#$$&&$#$$$&$!$#$!!**

**Isaw: then don't! see if I care! :mumbles: freaks...**

**Ni: hey! Anyone here seen my t-back?**

**Bonitz: ewwwwwwwwwwww! You wear t-back?!**

**Ni: nope...not really...I wear a Q-back...**

**Shien: have you found the t-back yet?**

**Ni: nope**

**Shien: well then, hurry! We still got to look for the R-back and the Z-back!**

**Ni: hai!**

**Me: o.O how did that happen...?**

**Ni: back to my question...have anyone of you seen a t-back lying 'round here?**

**Gyukomen: Ni! Where in the (meep) did you go?!**

**Ni: right here...HONEY!**

**Goku: mmmmmf! Mmmmmf! H-H-H-HONEY?! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Ni: ...**

**Isaw: honey?! THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER THAN Bonitz' CLASS PICTURE!**

**Me: ...:side steps:...**

**Sanzo: ouch! You stepped on my toe!**

**Me: shut up!**

**Sanzo: I won't shut up! You stupid perverted author who does nothing but torture us!**

**Me: shhhhh!**

**Sanzo: THE AUTHOR'S HERE! HERE! **

**Me: damn you!**

**Sanzo: damn you too, also!**

**Bonitz: :sudden appearance of aura: **

**Konzeon: what's all the screams about?! It was interrupting my beauty sleep!**

**Sanzo: beauty?! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OF THOSE!**

**Konzeon: shut your trap or I'll turn you into a gerbil!**

**Sanzo: I thought I was going to be a hamster?!**

**Konzeon: I decided that it was going to be a gerbil!**

**Sanzo: damn stupid good for nothing relative!**

**Konzeon: thanks for the compliments!**

**Sanzo: :takes out a cannon, a bazooka and his revolver: time to say good-bye!**

**Konzeon: Jiroshin! Guard thy master!**

**Jiroshin: yes Konzeon Bousatsu!**

**Sanzo: :shoots like crazy: **

**Jiroshin: ouch... ouch... ouch... ouch... ouch... ouch... ouch... ouch... ouch... ouch...**

**Konzeon: ha! Missed!**

**Sanzo: grrrrrr!**

**Jiroshin: Konzeon Bousatsu...I think I need a doctor...**

**Konzeon: what are you saying?! You're gonna be alright! You're just over acting!**

**Jiroshin: :dies:**

**Gyukomen: I don't think Jiroshin needs a doctor...I think you do...**

**Konzeon: and why do you say that?!**

**Sanzo: am I being ignored here?!**

**Gyukomen: well...you need a facelift...hmmm...nope...a facelift won't do you any good...a plastic surgery is needed for you...**

**Konzeon: why you! SUMMON ALMIGHTY CRAP!**

**Sanzo: hello! Don't ignore me! I'm not used to being ignored!**

**Gyukomen: :face full of crap:**

**Sanzo: I said 'don't ignore me!' :shoots everyone:**

**Everyone: :manages to dodge:**

**Me: I don't have your pic...**

**Bonitz: I thought you already stripped that thing?!**

**Me: well...since you already spread out my PERSONAL pic...I'm gonna spread our grade one pic once again!!!! Wahahaha! Double pay back!**

**Bonitz: :matrix style again: aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!**

**Me: yyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss!**

**Isaw: HHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!**

**SUDDENLY BECOMES NORMAL SPEED**

**Bonitz: WHAT?!**

**Isaw: nothing really...just felt like saying that...**

**Bonitz: well the stop interrupting my scene! **

**MATRIX SPEED AGAIN**

**Me: now let's go to the other side of the room to see what's been happening to the saiyuki boys**

**Bonitz: I'm not done with my slow motion yet!**

**Me: :pretends not to here:**

**Bonitz: hey!**

**Me: :still pretending:**

**Bonitz: look...it's Speedy...**

**Me: where?! :turns around and looks:**

**Bonitz: sigh**

**Me: he's not here!**

**Bonitz: DUHHHHHHHHH! Of course he isn't!**

**Me: ...**

**Bonitz: ...**

**Me:...**

**Bonitz: ...**

**Me: ...**

**Bonitz: ...**

**Me: ...**

**Bonitz: ...**

**Me: freak**

**Bonitz: weirdo**

**Me: inu-lover**

**Bonitz: saiyuki diehard**

**Me: Kikyo obsessed**

**Bonitz: Kakashi hugger**

**Me: Zidane (bleep)**

**Bonitz: Vivi (toot)**

**Me: :Glare:**

**Bonitz: :death glare:**

**Me: :mega death glare:**

**Bonitz: :ultra death glare:**

**Me: flower lover!**

**Bonitz: grass-eater!**

**Me: who told you that! That was supposed to be a secret!**

**Bonitz: so...you really eat grass?!**

**Me: ...**

**Bonitz: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ni: are you two finished glaring?**

**Me: yeah, pretty much**

**Ni: well then...will you move? You're stepping on the t-back that I have been looking for...**

**Me: oh...sorry...**

**Bonitz: grass-eater**

**Me: mumble...to the saiyuki boys...**

**You: hey! What about me?!**

**Me: who said that?**

**You: me!**

**Me: :looks at the rock I'm holding: is anyone there?! Answer me!**

**You: I'm right-**

**Me: don't worry! I'll save you! :gets chainsaw and shreds rock:**

**You: hey! Just tu-**

**Me: :searches crumbled pieces of rock: I'll save you!**

**You: will you ju-**

**Me: ANSWER ME! WHERE ARE YOU!?**

**You: I'm right he-**

**Me: Bonitz! Isaw! Help me! Someone's trapped in the rock!**

**You: JUST TURN AROUND! I'M RIGHT HERE!**

**Bonitz: uhhhh...maybe you should just turn around...**

**Me: yes! I found them! The people stuck in the rock!**

**Isaw: lemmee see! :looks at the palm of my hand:**

**You: morons...**

**Me: victory dance!**

**Bonitz: now to the saiyuki boys! Before the author gets too insane...**

**Me, Isaw: :still shakes booty:**

**Bonitz: sigh**

**OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM**

**Goku: BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP!**

**Gojyo: good one! Let me try that! :snatches can of soda:**

**Goku: I'm not done yet!**

**Gojyo: :drinks all up:**

**Goku: :gets a very large mallet and attempt to hit Gojyo:**

**Gojyo: uh-oh...it's coming...**

**Goku: wha- AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Gojyo: BBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUEEEEERRRRRRPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!**

**Goku: :SPEECHLESS:**

**Gojyo: 'scuse me...**

**Goku: NICE!!!!!!!!!!! TEACH ME! TEACH ME!**

**Nataku: teach me first! ME FIRST!**

**Gojyo: the master never reveals his secrets!**

**Nataku: I'll give you all the things you like!**

**Gojyo: bribery never works on me!**

**Goku: I'll give you Meihou!**

**Me: did I just hear 'Meihou'? **

**Homura: MEIHOU! COOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEE BAAAAAACCCCCKKK!!!**

**Goku: did you hear something?**

**Nataku: nothing...**

**Gojyo: nope...she's not my type**

**Nataku: beer?**

**Goku: new boarding houses?**

**Gojyo: no**

**Ni: salted nuts?**

**Gojyo: n- did you say 'salted nuts'?**

**Ni: yep**

**Gojyo: SURE! GIVE ME SOME!**

**Goku, Nataku: o.O;**

**Gojyo: yay! :floats on a cloud:**

**Goku: hey! How come you chose salted nuts?!**

**Gojyo: :drops from cloud: 'cause nuts are GOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!**

**Nataku: am outta here...**

**Goku: me too...**

**Sanzo: :still at the corner: I'm still not a (meep)...**

**Goku: :gives a penny to a can beside Sanzo: poor guy...**

**Nataku: yeah...**

**Sanzo: ohhhhhhhhh...money! Yessssssssssss! I can now buy a new set of Pajamas!**

**Goku, Nataku: too weird...**

**Hakkai: uhhhhh...why AM I here?-again?**

**Me: nothing...just felt like having you around**

**Hakkai: okay...bye! :vanishes:**

**Me: damn! I'll end this chapter now! Bye everyone!**

**Bonitz: DON'T!**

**Me: why not?!**

**Bonitz: ...uhhhhh...dunno...**

**Homura: Meihou...where art thou my Meihou?**

**Me: ugh...!**

**Bonitz: ewwww...Shakespeare...I hate that guy...**

**Homura: denounce thy name and refuse thy name! What is in a name?**

**Me: ladidadidadidadidadidadidadidadidadidadidadidadida!**

**Bonitz: my head hurts already! Stop it!**

**Homura: :bows on a stage that appeared out of nowhere:**

**Everyone: :claps:**

**Meihou: that was so...beautiful!**

**Homura: anything for you my love!**

**Me: LOVE?! She's MINE! Mine I tells ya! MINE!**

**Homura: why don't we just have another contest then?!**

**Me: sure! Anything to win Meihou back!**

**Bonitz, Meihou: oh brother...**

**A LITTLE WHILE and chaos LATER...**

**Me: what?! An oratorical, poem or speech contest!?**

**Homura: you said anything! So I chose this!**

**Me: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I don't like these things! :sucks thumb like a child:**

**Homura: sigh...let's just get this over wi-**

**Me: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!**

**Homura: let's ju-**

**Me: :looks side ways: ahhhhhhhhhhh!**

**Homura: I said let's-**

**Me: :looks sideways again and sees rabid bunny: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!**

**Homura: LISTE-**

**Me: :glances yet again and sees a kid in the t.v.: AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!**

**Homura: ...**

**Me: :looks again and sees Goku and Nataku picking their noses: huh?!**

**Goku: uhhhh...you ain't seen anything!**

**Nataku: right! :both hides in a very dark corner:**

**Zeon: monsters! Miserable monsters! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH :BREATHES: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK!**

**Bonitz: is this a scream fest or something?**

**Zeon: monsters-coming-too-get-me!!! Outside-weird-pathetic!!!**

**Sanzo: it's called life you (bleep) get used too it! :throws boot:**

**Zeon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG-SLAP!**

**Sanzo: SHUT UP!**

**Gojyo: don't you think Zeon's acting crazy?**

**Goku: nope, compared to the author...he's not...**

**Hakkai: well...I won't call that normal either :glances at my direction:**

**Me: :hides behind a chair and screams head off:**

**Goku: -'.'- ...maybe Zeon's just acting weird...**

**Gojyo: you think so? :glances at Zeon: **

**Zeon: :looks at hands then screams:**

**Sanzo: so...do we have crazy cards left?**

**Zeon: :still screaming:**

**Me: :runs to bathroom then screams:**

**GIR, ZIM AND DIB ARRIVES...**

**Gir: ohhhhhhhh...piggy! :jumps on Konzeon:**

**Konzeon: hey! Does this beautiful face of mine look like a pig's face?!**

**Gir: dudidudidudidudidudidudidudidudidudidudidu!**

**Konzeon: GERROFF ME! :shakes off Gir:**

**Gir: shhhhhhhh! I'm gonna finish my song! Dudidudidudidudidudidudidudidudidudidudidu!**

**Konzeon: :gets hold of Gir and throws him to the ground: WHAT IN THE (BLEEP) ARE YOU DOING?!**

**Gir: I...DON'T...KNOW...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :dances:**

**Zim: :walks up to Goku: you! puny earth boy!**

**Goku: who sad that?!**

**Zim: how dare you ignore Zim! Your mighty overlord!**

**Goku: :looks down at a green thing hat barely reached his knees: what's that...?**

**Zim: :gets poked by Goku: stop proding your mighty overlord with your-filthy-human-HANDS!**

**Goku: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Unclean puny alien! GERMS! :runs to shower:**

**Zim: o.O;**

**Dib: If ayone asks...I don't know you...**

**Zim: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! Big-headed-Dib! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Me: OKAY, OKAY! GET OUT OF MY FIC, NOW! :kicks the thee intruders to another fic:**

**Bonitz: ...**

**Zeon: AHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!...huhuhuhuhu...hihihihihihihi...**

**Me: o.O; you are weirder than me...**

**Zeon: :runs in circles and laughs:**

**Me: no! stop it Zeon! **

**Zeon: I'm a crazy lunatic! :still runs around:**

**Shien: stop! YOU'RE NOT CRAZY! YOU'RE JUST STUPID!**

**Me: who votes for crazy?! Say crazy!**

**Everyone: ...crazy...**

**Zeon: ..................................................................stupid author...............................................................**

**Me: okay! Let's do this! I'm gonna beat you in speech power!**

**Homura: talk about split personality...**

**Narrator: And so the battle goes on for Meihou's heart!**

**Meihou: hey you freaking narrator! Stop sayin' my name!**

**Narrator: oh! Sorry**

**Me: my piece is Brutus' Oration!**

**Romans, countrymen and lovers! Here me for my cause and be silent that you may here! Believe me for mine honor and have respect to mine honor that you may believe. If there be any-**

**Nataku: BORING!**

**Me: why you little! **

**Nataku: whatcha gonna do?! Crybaby!**

**Me: grrrrrrrrrrr! ALMIGHTY SCRIPT!**

**Everyone: uh-oh...BIG TROUBLE!**

**Me: :scribbles:**

**Nataku: :gets an episode of Barney and watches it:**

**Everyone: yay!**

**Me, Bonitz, Isaw: LALALALALA! LALALALALA!**

**Sanzo, Gojyo: :sings to the tune of Barney: I HATE YOU!**

**Goku, Hakkai: YOU HATE ME!**

**Me, Bonitz: LET'S GO OUT AND KILL BARNEY!**

**Nataku, Konzeon: WITH A SHOTGUN (BANG) (BANG)**

**Ni, Shien: LYING ON THE FLOOR!**

**Zeon, Homura: NO MORE STUPID**

**Everyone: DI-NO-SAUR! :poses prettily:**

**Me: I'm still cutting this chapter short!**

**Bonitz: n-**

**Me: CUT!**

**--------#$#$#$#$#$-------**

**Bonitz: what will happen next?**

**Isaw: will the author ever update again?**

**Bonitz: will the author be mad at us for using this space? **

**Isaw: uhhh...Bonitz...:tugs on Bonitz' shirt:**

**Bonitz: what?!**

**Isaw: run...**

**Bonitz: why?**

**Isaw: because!**

**Bonitz: because what?!**

**Isaw: the author is here!**

**Bonitz: eep! :vanishes in smoke:**

**Isaw: don't live meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**

**Me: terror! Wahahahaha! Pure terror!**

**Okay everyone! That's the end of this! I'm not continuing! **

**(joke) ONLY IF I GET AT LEAST 2-5 REVIEWS**

**That was a little unexpected...I was thinking of a scene inside a hospital but I think that this was a little better than that...hope you like it...**


	8. it's called ending

Chapter 8: Evilly Goodness 

**Am back…**

**Uhmmm…folks…this may be my last chapter for this ficcie…**

…

…

…

…**KIDDIN'! I'll continue it 'cuz you folks are the best! But if I don't get any single (bleep) of a review for this I WILL NEVER CONTINUE!!!**

**Oh yeah…one last thing…am gonna change my pen name and would like your approval…so will you let me change it? Huh? Please??? Pweety pwease???**

**And Goku's the head of the MAFIA and Hakkai's out of this fic for the meantime…**

**THIS CHAPTER IS FILLED WITH BORED CHARACTERS WITH NOTHING TO DO…IT'S JUST LIKE AN EPILOGUE OF SOME SORT**

**IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ: folks, I'm afraid that I lost my mojo…I can't write anything funny anymore! And there will be some comebacks**

**To dream-eater: Bonitz is Bluie so that answers your question…(Bluie-san, gomen)**

Aki: nope, I understand the fact that you like get backers (Jamaican accent) ya man! It rocks (normal accent) but it's hard to fit that part in…but I'll try! I'll probably put Kadsuki (or was it Kadsuki???) somewhere here since he's my favorite character other than Hatake Kakashi, Cho Hakkai, Makubex, Umino Iruka, Maito Gai, Sanji, Raitei, Son Goku, Jubei, Shiranui Genma, Roronoua Zorro, Yakushi Kabuto (breaths) Sohma Hatsuharu, Sohma Shigure, Sohma Hatori, Sohma Akito, Billy Lee Black, Bartholomew Fatima, Ryou Bakura, Marik Ishtar, Loki, Odin, Vermillion, Tasuki, Tokaki, Tomite (almost dies of suffocation) Mitsui Hizashi, Yzak Joule, Seishoumaru, Yue, Kurama, Hiei, Killua, Athrun Zala, Kira Yamto, Koji, Koichi, Yamato Takeru, Yamato Matt, Hisoka and so on and so fort…

On with the fic… 

**Me: freakin' manhole…**

**Bonitz: what the (bleep) are you talkin' about? **

**Me: freakin' hole…(mumble, grumble)**

**Bonitz: man! You stink!**

**Me: what?! My lines stink again?!**

**Bonitz: no…YOU LITERALLY STINK! You smell bad!**

**Me: freak you…mumble…**

**Bonitz: yeah sure…whatever…sooo…what happened? **

**Me: that freakin' manhole over there let me fall down on it!**

**Bonitz: who…uhhhh…CARES?!**

**Me: well…(echoes) hey! Are you repeating everything I say?!**

**Bonitz: no…**

**Me: then why is there an echo?!**

**Bonitz: (bleep) YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WRITING THE STORY! FREAKING (BLEEP) OF PAPER! (Echoes)**

**Me: ah……………so that explains the echo……………(echoes)**

**Flashback**

**Me: it's a happy, happy day! (Frolics while wearing a vintage dress with bulgy butts and a big hat complete with straw basket)**

**Manhole:…**

**Me: happy, happy day (sings 'numb' of linkin' park)**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: happy day! (Gets electric guitar)**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: very happy! (Gets an old man and tosses him around)**

**Old man: …**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: happiness around! (Throws away cookies and mustard)**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: (bends down) hi Mr. Manhole! Will you let me pass?**

**Sanzo: (appears all of a sudden) you know…that hole will not move…**

**Me: eep! Where did you come from all of a sudden?!**

**Sanzo: I don't know…**

**Me: what?**

**Sanzo: what?!**

**Me: you said what!**

**Sanzo: what? I said what?!**

**Me: no you said what then I said what to ask you what!**

**Sanzo: what? You said what to ask me what but I said what to ask you what?**

**Me: no I asked you a question…**

**Sanzo: …WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THESE QUESTIONS?! YOU'RE MAKING MY HEAD HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Shoots me)**

**Manhole: …**

**Sanzo: (takes a step forward 'then' falls down into manhole) AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!**

**Me: (calls back to Sanzo) I asked you what first!**

**End of flashback**

**Bonitz: and so…what's that got to do with the manhole?**

**Me: I…don't…know…**

**Bonitz: you're hopeless…**

**Me: that's my work…AND I'M PROUD OF IT (suddenly changes into a superman outfit and flies of to a billboard with a sunset painting)**

**Bonitz: that is not a real sun-…………………set………………**

**(BBBBBBLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH)**

**Bonitz: that's gotta hurt…**

**Me: (teeth dangling by a thread) why…yes it does…**

**Bonitz: hopeless…**

** Another part of the fic universe **

**Gojyo: what's going on here?!**

**Goku: (talks like the godfather) you, have no business here, kappish?**

**Gojyo: say what?**

**Goku: Nataku, explain**

**Nataku: yes boss! (Gets brief case) okay…you, have no business here, kappish?**

**Gojyo: I still don't get it**

**Goku: (slaps Nataku) **

**Nataku: what was that for?!**

**Goku: for not explainin'!**

**Nataku: okay…**

**Goku: okay…you, have no business here, kappish? I'm in the MAFIA now and my people need me, kappish?**

**Gojyo: nope**

**Nataku: WHY YOU FREAKIN' (BLEEP) OF PAPER! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO THE GODFATHER THAT WAY!**

**Gojyo: hold it, watch your tone of I'll be forced to turn you into a Barbie doll other than a fighting doll which was your former state, brat!**

**Nataku: (cleans ears with pinky finger) you done talking old man?**

**Gojyo: I'M NOT AN OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Nataku: yes you are**

**Gojyo: I'm not!**

**Nataku: yeah you are**

**Gojyo: (gets a gun and shoots at Nataku) **

**Nataku: (gets shot then gets up) you're still old**

**Gojyo: AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH YOU!**

**Goku: anyway, back to busines-**

**Gojyo: (gets up while holding a Barbie doll) what's going on here anyways!?**

**Goku: where's Nataku?**

**Gojyo: nowhere…(evil green then glances at doll)**

**Goku: well, since you are here…I am the head of the MAFIA and these are my subordinates…that one's Don JOHNSON**

**Don Johnson: yo!**

**Goku: SHADDUP! That one over there is don TUTTI FRUTI**

**Don Tutti Fruti: hi**

**Goku: I said SHADDUP! The other one's don PRIMO**

**Don Primo: …**

**Goku: SHADDUP!**

**Don Primo: I didn't talk!**

**Goku: yes you did…just now! And last but not the least…Don DUN DUN DUN**

**Don Dun Dun Dun: (thunder and lightning background)**

**Goku: and that's that…kappish?**

**Gojyo: so that's Primo, Tutti Fruti, Johnson and Dun Dun Dun…**

**Dons: yeah! You kappished it! Yay! It's your birthday…we think!**

**Goku: back to business! (Gets a revolver gun and plays with it then suddenly fires it at an unconscious Nataku) oops! Anyway…I heard that Shien wasn't giving us the money for the lingerie he smuggled…**

**Don Dun Dun Dun: yes sir…what do you want to do with him?**

**Goku: give him a torn ladies wear and smear mustard on it…he'll get the message…**

**Don Primo: yessir, right away!**

**Goku: on second thought…give me the mustard and just smear other stuff at that lingerie…**

**Don Johnson: …uh-huh…yessir…**

**Goku: good…now let's get a move on**

**Gojyo: so that's what MAFIA is…it's an organization that gives torn underwears…**

**Goku: yeah…that's our work!**

**Gojyo: o.O;**

**Other side yet again**

**Kadsuki: stop poking me!**

**Ni: but I still can't believe it! You look like a girl!**

**Kadsuki: I AM NOT A GIRL!**

**Ni: yes you are!**

**Kadsuki: I only LOOK like one! It's not MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ni: …you're still a girl…**

**Kadsuki: am NOT!!!!!!!!**

**Ni: …alright…I don't like GIRLS to cry anyways…**

**Kadsuki: Jubei-chn! Save me! (jumps to Jubei's arms)**

**Ban: jumpin' to your needle grasper again…(smiles freakishly)**

**background changes into a hospital**

**Kadsuki: (instantly jumps off Jubei) …it's not what you think! (blushes)**

**Ban: …(laughs head off) needle grasper and thread spinner together again!!!!!**

**Kadsuki: I said it's not what you think!**

**Jubei: ENOUGH! (gets magnificent yinyang ball) BAN! HOW DARE YOU TEASE KADS-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ban: what?! What I do?! He's the one in the skimpy nurse costume!**

**Jubei: (drops voice dramatically then goes to corner of room) …Kadsuki? Nurse costume? Skimpy? With above then knee skirt? And white stockings? (drools)**

**Sanzo: (appears out of nowhere and shoots Jubei) perv…ert…**

**Jubei: (barely dodges bullet) WHO WAS THAT?!**

**Sanzo: me…(looks at Kadsuki) hey! It's another girl! Ya-uhhhhh…ahem… I mean I don't like girls…**

**Kadsuki: I AM NOT A GIRL! (readies fuchoin magic string)**

**Konzen: yeah…he's right…not a girl…**

**Sanzo: WHAT?!**

**Konzen: look! (prods Kadsuki) no chest!**

**Everyone: o.O;**

**Kadsuki: WHA DID YOU SAY?! I DO SO HAVE A CHES- I mean…yeah! You're right! I don't have a chest!**

**Sanzo: ga…y**

**Ni: girl…**

**Kadsuki: am NOT! (spits fireballs) **

**Ni: oh yeah?! Well (gets something from pocket) here!**

**Kadsuki: (sees an ant) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!**

**Ni: SEE? You scream like a girl so you must be a girl!**

**Ant: …**

**Ni: what's that you say Carl? You want to crawl all over the place?**

**Carl: …**

**Ni: okay! (Lets go of Carl) **

**Carl: (gets stepped on and fired upon by a lose bullet and a meteor the size of a peanut land on him)**

**Ni: CCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLL!!! Oh well…I can get new friends anyway!**

**Carl: (grasps Ni's neck and strangles him)**

**Ni: c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-Carl! N-n-n-n-n-n-o!**

**Carl: (gets ran over by a truck)**

**Ni: CCCCCCAAAAAAAAR- wait…I said that line already…**

**Kadsuki: o.O;**

**Ni: you're still a girl…**

**Kadsuki: Jubei-san! Save me from this 'weird and disturbing' pervert!**

**Jubei: what pervert?**

**Ni: yeah! What pervert!?**

**Kadsuki: (points at Ni) that pervert!**

**Jubei: ah…that pervert…**

**Ni: ah…so that pervert…WAIT! THAT'S ME I'M POINTING AT!**

**Kadsuki: well…you are a pervert…**

**Ni: yes! I admit it! So sue me!**

**Kadsuki: o.O;**

**Ni: what? Not gonna sue me? Bummer…**

**Jubei: Kadsuki…he's not really a pervert…I know him…he's not like that…**

**Kadsuki: HU-WHAT?! YOU KNOW THIS GUY!?**

**Jubei: yeah…he's the one who thought me acupuncture…**

**Kadsuki: (faints)**

**Ni: what?! I thought you acupuncture?**

**Jubei: …no…**

**Ni: o.O;**

**Another place in another time**

**Isaw: yeah…it's another time…it's 10:11 a.m.p.**

**Hisoka: what's a.m.p. stand for?**

**Isaw: addict mobile prepaid duh!**

**Hisoka: o-kay…**

**Hakkai: (stares bewilderedly all over the place) where are we…?**

**Isaw: you're in aplacethat transforms people into 2-d charcters…oh no…I'm starting to sound like my teacher! (screams like a girl)**

**Hakkai: …hey! I'm a teacher!**

**Isaw: o.O;;**

**Another scene**

**Konzeon: I'm more beautiful!**

**Gyukomen: no me!**

**Konzeon: I got fuller breasts!**

**Gyukomen: me too!**

**Konzeon: no! Yours are like prunes!**

**Gyukomen: no they're not!**

**Konzeon: yes they are!**

**Gyukomen: well…you're freaky looking!**

**Konzeon: no I'm not!**

**Gyukomen: yes you are!**

**Jiroshin: (appears out of nowhere) (darkened face)**

**Konzeon: what happened to you?**

**Jiroshin: (talking in a trance) maybe you think I'm weird…**

**Konzeon: well you are!**

**Jiroshin: maybe you think I'm no good…**

**Gyukomen: nope…I don't think that way about you…I think you're worthless**

**Jiroshin: however…I can't stop thinking about you…**

**Konzeon: say what?**

**Jiroshin: I can't sleep when I think about you…**

**Gyukomen: you're freaky!**

**Jiroshin: I haven't slept in days because you're there…**

**Konzeon: that explains the gaunt appearance…**

**Jiroshin: you are the only one in my head…**

**Gyukomen: whoa! You're going too far!**

**Jiroshin: I can't help but stare at your ethereal beauty…**

**Konzeon: aw, stop it! You're making me blush!**

**Jiroshin: you're the only one I want…**

**Gyukomen: have you taken your medicine yet?**

**Jiroshin: after all these years…I wanted to say that I…**

**Konzeon: he hasn't taken medicine yet…**

**Jiroshin: that I…**

**Gyukomen: hurry! Get the needle! Let's inject him!**

**Jiroshin: I just wanted to say that I am really-**

**Konzeon: faster! Get the serum ready!**

**Gyukomen: ready!**

**Jiroshin: that I am really (out of the trance) JUST JOKING!!!!**

**Konzeon, Gyukomen: (injects him with a tranquilizer dart) YEAH! Victory dance! (Dances 'sayaw kikay' and 'bulaklak')**

**Jiroshin: (sleeps with a snot bubble dangling around his face) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…**

**In the middle of the middle of nowhere**

**Me: where am I?**

**Bonitz: inside the manhole…**

**Me: oh…**

**Somewhere**

**Goku: did you give him the lingerie yet?**

**Dons: yessir! **

**Goku: good!**

**In Manchester, England**

**Triple H: what the…why do I feel that I'm a 2-d character?**

**Batista: don't know…me too!**

**Benoit: hey! I got my teeth complete again!**

**Christian: we are the chosen peo- ouch!**

**Chibi HBK: (whacks Christian with a mallet) hmmm…just trying an old trick from the book…IT WORKS!**

**Singers: I know he's cute! I know he's sexy! He's got the looks! …………………………………**

**HBK: am not your BOYTOY!**

**Singers: BOYTOY!**

**HBK: am just a sexy boy! **

**Singers: SEXY BOY!**

**Eric: what's happening here?! Why do I feel animated?!**

**Wrestlers: we don't know…**

**Eric: tell me!**

**Wrestlers: stop asking us THESE QUESTIONS! You're MAKING OUR HEADS HURT!**

**Eric: this is weird…**

**Tajiri: weird…**

**Rhyno: weird…**

**Tomko: weird…**

**Y2J: weird…**

**Eugene: weird…**

**Edge: weird…**

**Coach: weird…**

**Eric: stop the echo!**

**Tajiri: echo!**

**Rhyno: echo!**

**Tomko: echo!**

**Y2J: echo!**

**Eugene: echo!**

**Edge: echo!**

**Coach: echo!**

**Eric: (sigh) you're fired!**

**Coach: hey! You can't fire us!**

**Eric: oh yes I can!**

**Christian: no you can't…**

**Eric: yes I can!**

**Coach: no man! Especially Ric Flair over here…**

**Eric: give me a good reason why…**

**Eugene: 'cuz you're…BALD! (Claps hands)**

**Eric: (gets hold of Eugene and throws him to the smackdown roster) SHADDUP!**

**Coach: weeeeeeellllllll…one thing's his OLD**

**Eric: not a good reason…**

**Christian: how about he's VERY OLD?**

**Eric: not!**

**Triple H: but HE'S OLD!**

**Eric: but that has nothing to do with me!**

**Everyone: BUT HE IS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! AS IN O-L-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ric: is 84 years old too old for you? (Puppy face)**

**Everyone: YES!**

**(Old echoes some more then stops)**

**SORRY FOLKS! JUST HAVE TO INCLUDE THE WWE!**

**I'll continue but the rating might go up to pg-13…'cuz of the language (but I'm still thinking about it)**

**This chapter sucks 'cuz I'm just kinda bored with the story line and the computer just recovered from a virus so am not in the mood…so was the last chapter…**


	9. after 2 years

Chapter 8: Evilly Goodness 

**Am back…**

**Uhmmm…folks…this may be my last chapter for this ficcie…**

…

…

…

…**KIDDIN'! I'll continue it 'cuz you folks are the best! But if I don't get any single (bleep) of a review for this I WILL NEVER CONTINUE!!!**

**Oh yeah…one last thing…am gonna change my pen name and would like your approval…so will you let me change it? Huh? Please??? Pweety pwease???**

**And Goku's the head of the MAFIA and Hakkai's out of this fic for the meantime…**

**THIS CHAPTER IS FILLED WITH BORED CHARACTERS WITH NOTHING TO DO…IT'S JUST LIKE AN EPILOGUE OF SOME SORT**

**IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ: folks, I'm afraid that I lost my mojo…I can't write anything funny anymore! And there will be some comebacks**

**To dream-eater: Bonitz is Bluie so that answers your question…(Bluie-san, gomen)**

Aki: nope, I understand the fact that you like get backers (Jamaican accent) ya man! It rocks (normal accent) but it's hard to fit that part in…but I'll try! I'll probably put Kadsuki (or was it Kadsuki???) somewhere here since he's my favorite character other than Hatake Kakashi, Cho Hakkai, Makubex, Umino Iruka, Maito Gai, Sanji, Raitei, Son Goku, Jubei, Shiranui Genma, Roronoua Zorro, Yakushi Kabuto (breaths) Sohma Hatsuharu, Sohma Shigure, Sohma Hatori, Sohma Akito, Billy Lee Black, Bartholomew Fatima, Ryou Bakura, Marik Ishtar, Loki, Odin, Vermillion, Tasuki, Tokaki, Tomite (almost dies of suffocation) Mitsui Hizashi, Yzak Joule, Seishoumaru, Yue, Kurama, Hiei, Killua, Athrun Zala, Kira Yamto, Koji, Koichi, Yamato Takeru, Yamato Matt, Hisoka and so on and so fort…

On with the fic… 

**Me: freakin' manhole…**

**Bonitz: what the (bleep) are you talkin' about? **

**Me: freakin' hole…(mumble, grumble)**

**Bonitz: man! You stink!**

**Me: what?! My lines stink again?!**

**Bonitz: no…YOU LITERALLY STINK! You smell bad!**

**Me: freak you…mumble…**

**Bonitz: yeah sure…whatever…sooo…what happened? **

**Me: that freakin' manhole over there let me fall down on it!**

**Bonitz: who…uhhhh…CARES?!**

**Me: well…(echoes) hey! Are you repeating everything I say?!**

**Bonitz: no…**

**Me: then why is there an echo?!**

**Bonitz: (bleep) YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WRITING THE STORY! FREAKING (BLEEP) OF PAPER! (Echoes)**

**Me: ah……………so that explains the echo……………(echoes)**

**Flashback**

**Me: it's a happy, happy day! (Frolics while wearing a vintage dress with bulgy butts and a big hat complete with straw basket)**

**Manhole:…**

**Me: happy, happy day (sings 'numb' of linkin' park)**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: happy day! (Gets electric guitar)**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: very happy! (Gets an old man and tosses him around)**

**Old man: …**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: happiness around! (Throws away cookies and mustard)**

**Manhole: …**

**Me: (bends down) hi Mr. Manhole! Will you let me pass?**

**Sanzo: (appears all of a sudden) you know…that hole will not move…**

**Me: eep! Where did you come from all of a sudden?!**

**Sanzo: I don't know…**

**Me: what?**

**Sanzo: what?!**

**Me: you said what!**

**Sanzo: what? I said what?!**

**Me: no you said what then I said what to ask you what!**

**Sanzo: what? You said what to ask me what but I said what to ask you what?**

**Me: no I asked you a question…**

**Sanzo: …WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THESE QUESTIONS?! YOU'RE MAKING MY HEAD HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Shoots me)**

**Manhole: …**

**Sanzo: (takes a step forward 'then' falls down into manhole) AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!**

**Me: (calls back to Sanzo) I asked you what first!**

**End of flashback**

**Bonitz: and so…what's that got to do with the manhole?**

**Me: I…don't…know…**

**Bonitz: you're hopeless…**

**Me: that's my work…AND I'M PROUD OF IT (suddenly changes into a superman outfit and flies of to a billboard with a sunset painting)**

**Bonitz: that is not a real sun-…………………set………………**

**(BBBBBBLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH)**

**Bonitz: that's gotta hurt…**

**Me: (teeth dangling by a thread) why…yes it does…**

**Bonitz: hopeless…**

** Another part of the fic universe **

**Gojyo: what's going on here?!**

**Goku: (talks like the godfather) you, have no business here, kappish?**

**Gojyo: say what?**

**Goku: Nataku, explain**

**Nataku: yes boss! (Gets brief case) okay…you, have no business here, kappish?**

**Gojyo: I still don't get it**

**Goku: (slaps Nataku) **

**Nataku: what was that for?!**

**Goku: for not explainin'!**

**Nataku: okay…**

**Goku: okay…you, have no business here, kappish? I'm in the MAFIA now and my people need me, kappish?**

**Gojyo: nope**

**Nataku: WHY YOU FREAKIN' (BLEEP) OF PAPER! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO THE GODFATHER THAT WAY!**

**Gojyo: hold it, watch your tone of I'll be forced to turn you into a Barbie doll other than a fighting doll which was your former state, brat!**

**Nataku: (cleans ears with pinky finger) you done talking old man?**

**Gojyo: I'M NOT AN OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Nataku: yes you are**

**Gojyo: I'm not!**

**Nataku: yeah you are**

**Gojyo: (gets a gun and shoots at Nataku) **

**Nataku: (gets shot then gets up) you're still old**

**Gojyo: AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH YOU!**

**Goku: anyway, back to busines-**

**Gojyo: (gets up while holding a Barbie doll) what's going on here anyways!?**

**Goku: where's Nataku?**

**Gojyo: nowhere…(evil green then glances at doll)**

**Goku: well, since you are here…I am the head of the MAFIA and these are my subordinates…that one's Don JOHNSON**

**Don Johnson: yo!**

**Goku: SHADDUP! That one over there is don TUTTI FRUTI**

**Don Tutti Fruti: hi**

**Goku: I said SHADDUP! The other one's don PRIMO**

**Don Primo: …**

**Goku: SHADDUP!**

**Don Primo: I didn't talk!**

**Goku: yes you did…just now! And last but not the least…Don DUN DUN DUN**

**Don Dun Dun Dun: (thunder and lightning background)**

**Goku: and that's that…kappish?**

**Gojyo: so that's Primo, Tutti Fruti, Johnson and Dun Dun Dun…**

**Dons: yeah! You kappished it! Yay! It's your birthday…we think!**

**Goku: back to business! (Gets a revolver gun and plays with it then suddenly fires it at an unconscious Nataku) oops! Anyway…I heard that Shien wasn't giving us the money for the lingerie he smuggled…**

**Don Dun Dun Dun: yes sir…what do you want to do with him?**

**Goku: give him a torn ladies wear and smear mustard on it…he'll get the message…**

**Don Primo: yessir, right away!**

**Goku: on second thought…give me the mustard and just smear other stuff at that lingerie…**

**Don Johnson: …uh-huh…yessir…**

**Goku: good…now let's get a move on**

**Gojyo: so that's what MAFIA is…it's an organization that gives torn underwears…**

**Goku: yeah…that's our work!**

**Gojyo: o.O;**

**Other side yet again**

**Kadsuki: stop poking me!**

**Ni: but I still can't believe it! You look like a girl!**

**Kadsuki: I AM NOT A GIRL!**

**Ni: yes you are!**

**Kadsuki: I only LOOK like one! It's not MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ni: …you're still a girl…**

**Kadsuki: am NOT!!!!!!!!**

**Ni: …alright…I don't like GIRLS to cry anyways…**

**Kadsuki: Jubei-chn! Save me! (jumps to Jubei's arms)**

**Ban: jumpin' to your needle grasper again…(smiles freakishly)**

**background changes into a hospital**

**Kadsuki: (instantly jumps off Jubei) …it's not what you think! (blushes)**

**Ban: …(laughs head off) needle grasper and thread spinner together again!!!!!**

**Kadsuki: I said it's not what you think!**

**Jubei: ENOUGH! (gets magnificent yinyang ball) BAN! HOW DARE YOU TEASE KADS-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ban: what?! What I do?! He's the one in the skimpy nurse costume!**

**Jubei: (drops voice dramatically then goes to corner of room) …Kadsuki? Nurse costume? Skimpy? With above then knee skirt? And white stockings? (drools)**

**Sanzo: (appears out of nowhere and shoots Jubei) perv…ert…**

**Jubei: (barely dodges bullet) WHO WAS THAT?!**

**Sanzo: me…(looks at Kadsuki) hey! It's another girl! Ya-uhhhhh…ahem… I mean I don't like girls…**

**Kadsuki: I AM NOT A GIRL! (readies fuchoin magic string)**

**Konzen: yeah…he's right…not a girl…**

**Sanzo: WHAT?!**

**Konzen: look! (prods Kadsuki) no chest!**

**Everyone: o.O;**

**Kadsuki: WHA DID YOU SAY?! I DO SO HAVE A CHES- I mean…yeah! You're right! I don't have a chest!**

**Sanzo: ga…y**

**Ni: girl…**

**Kadsuki: am NOT! (spits fireballs) **

**Ni: oh yeah?! Well (gets something from pocket) here!**

**Kadsuki: (sees an ant) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!**

**Ni: SEE? You scream like a girl so you must be a girl!**

**Ant: …**

**Ni: what's that you say Carl? You want to crawl all over the place?**

**Carl: …**

**Ni: okay! (Lets go of Carl) **

**Carl: (gets stepped on and fired upon by a lose bullet and a meteor the size of a peanut land on him)**

**Ni: CCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLL!!! Oh well…I can get new friends anyway!**

**Carl: (grasps Ni's neck and strangles him)**

**Ni: c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-Carl! N-n-n-n-n-n-o!**

**Carl: (gets ran over by a truck)**

**Ni: CCCCCCAAAAAAAAR- wait…I said that line already…**

**Kadsuki: o.O;**

**Ni: you're still a girl…**

**Kadsuki: Jubei-san! Save me from this 'weird and disturbing' pervert!**

**Jubei: what pervert?**

**Ni: yeah! What pervert!?**

**Kadsuki: (points at Ni) that pervert!**

**Jubei: ah…that pervert…**

**Ni: ah…so that pervert…WAIT! THAT'S ME I'M POINTING AT!**

**Kadsuki: well…you are a pervert…**

**Ni: yes! I admit it! So sue me!**

**Kadsuki: o.O;**

**Ni: what? Not gonna sue me? Bummer…**

**Jubei: Kadsuki…he's not really a pervert…I know him…he's not like that…**

**Kadsuki: HU-WHAT?! YOU KNOW THIS GUY!?**

**Jubei: yeah…he's the one who thought me acupuncture…**

**Kadsuki: (faints)**

**Ni: what?! I thought you acupuncture?**

**Jubei: …no…**

**Ni: o.O;**

**Another place in another time**

**Isaw: yeah…it's another time…it's 10:11 a.m.p.**

**Hisoka: what's a.m.p. stand for?**

**Isaw: addict mobile prepaid duh!**

**Hisoka: o-kay…**

**Hakkai: (stares bewilderedly all over the place) where are we…?**

**Isaw: you're in aplacethat transforms people into 2-d charcters…oh no…I'm starting to sound like my teacher! (screams like a girl)**

**Hakkai: …hey! I'm a teacher!**

**Isaw: o.O;;**

**Another scene**

**Konzeon: I'm more beautiful!**

**Gyukomen: no me!**

**Konzeon: I got fuller breasts!**

**Gyukomen: me too!**

**Konzeon: no! Yours are like prunes!**

**Gyukomen: no they're not!**

**Konzeon: yes they are!**

**Gyukomen: well…you're freaky looking!**

**Konzeon: no I'm not!**

**Gyukomen: yes you are!**

**Jiroshin: (appears out of nowhere) (darkened face)**

**Konzeon: what happened to you?**

**Jiroshin: (talking in a trance) maybe you think I'm weird…**

**Konzeon: well you are!**

**Jiroshin: maybe you think I'm no good…**

**Gyukomen: nope…I don't think that way about you…I think you're worthless**

**Jiroshin: however…I can't stop thinking about you…**

**Konzeon: say what?**

**Jiroshin: I can't sleep when I think about you…**

**Gyukomen: you're freaky!**

**Jiroshin: I haven't slept in days because you're there…**

**Konzeon: that explains the gaunt appearance…**

**Jiroshin: you are the only one in my head…**

**Gyukomen: whoa! You're going too far!**

**Jiroshin: I can't help but stare at your ethereal beauty…**

**Konzeon: aw, stop it! You're making me blush!**

**Jiroshin: you're the only one I want…**

**Gyukomen: have you taken your medicine yet?**

**Jiroshin: after all these years…I wanted to say that I…**

**Konzeon: he hasn't taken medicine yet…**

**Jiroshin: that I…**

**Gyukomen: hurry! Get the needle! Let's inject him!**

**Jiroshin: I just wanted to say that I am really-**

**Konzeon: faster! Get the serum ready!**

**Gyukomen: ready!**

**Jiroshin: that I am really (out of the trance) JUST JOKING!!!!**

**Konzeon, Gyukomen: (injects him with a tranquilizer dart) YEAH! Victory dance! (Dances 'sayaw kikay' and 'bulaklak')**

**Jiroshin: (sleeps with a snot bubble dangling around his face) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…**

**In the middle of the middle of nowhere**

**Me: where am I?**

**Bonitz: inside the manhole…**

**Me: oh…**

**Somewhere**

**Goku: did you give him the lingerie yet?**

**Dons: yessir! **

**Goku: good!**

**In Manchester, England**

**Triple H: what the…why do I feel that I'm a 2-d character?**

**Batista: don't know…me too!**

**Benoit: hey! I got my teeth complete again!**

**Christian: we are the chosen peo- ouch!**

**Chibi HBK: (whacks Christian with a mallet) hmmm…just trying an old trick from the book…IT WORKS!**

**Singers: I know he's cute! I know he's sexy! He's got the looks! …………………………………**

**HBK: am not your BOYTOY!**

**Singers: BOYTOY!**

**HBK: am just a sexy boy! **

**Singers: SEXY BOY!**

**Eric: what's happening here?! Why do I feel animated?!**

**Wrestlers: we don't know…**

**Eric: tell me!**

**Wrestlers: stop asking us THESE QUESTIONS! You're MAKING OUR HEADS HURT!**

**Eric: this is weird…**

**Tajiri: weird…**

**Rhyno: weird…**

**Tomko: weird…**

**Y2J: weird…**

**Eugene: weird…**

**Edge: weird…**

**Coach: weird…**

**Eric: stop the echo!**

**Tajiri: echo!**

**Rhyno: echo!**

**Tomko: echo!**

**Y2J: echo!**

**Eugene: echo!**

**Edge: echo!**

**Coach: echo!**

**Eric: (sigh) you're fired!**

**Coach: hey! You can't fire us!**

**Eric: oh yes I can!**

**Christian: no you can't…**

**Eric: yes I can!**

**Coach: no man! Especially Ric Flair over here…**

**Eric: give me a good reason why…**

**Eugene: 'cuz you're…BALD! (Claps hands)**

**Eric: (gets hold of Eugene and throws him to the smackdown roster) SHADDUP!**

**Coach: weeeeeeellllllll…one thing's his OLD**

**Eric: not a good reason…**

**Christian: how about he's VERY OLD?**

**Eric: not!**

**Triple H: but HE'S OLD!**

**Eric: but that has nothing to do with me!**

**Everyone: BUT HE IS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! AS IN O-L-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ric: is 84 years old too old for you? (Puppy face)**

**Everyone: YES!**

**(Old echoes some more then stops)**

**SORRY FOLKS! JUST HAVE TO INCLUDE THE WWE!**

**I'll continue but the rating might go up to pg-13…'cuz of the language (but I'm still thinking about it)**

**This chapter sucks 'cuz I'm just kinda bored with the story line and the computer just recovered from a virus so am not in the mood…so was the last chapter…**


End file.
